The Vivacious Spirit of Joy, The Vicious Woe of Despair
by Katherine75
Summary: Anna & John have enjoyed a few wonderful years happily married before the tides of bliss turn on them once again. They are still madly devoted to one another but soon harsh realities will twist their world around leaving them muddling through sorrow and eventually doubt. What more will life ask them to survive? And will they? This is a work in progress.
1. Chapter 1: Waiting

John waited alone. Several hours passed as he sat in a small room just outside the recovery area. He alternated between staring out a small window into the darkness and sitting with his head buried in his hands most of night. These moments alone in misery were too familiar - much like his long tortuous nights in prison. Only now he didn't know if Anna was safe.

It took everything in him not to shout at the staff for more answers. They had assured him, there were none. Only the passing of time could reveal if everything would be all-right. He labored in grief as the seconds passed slowly.

An older nurse took careful attention of him, finally persuading a phone call be made to someone for support. John called Mrs. Hughes and spoke very little, because he knew even less.

By morning Mrs. Hughes, Lady Mary and Lord Grantham arrived to meet Mr. Bates at the hospital. He looked beyond tired. He was weary, worn and needed a shave. He hadn't eaten a thing since bringing Anna to this hospital more than twenty-four hours ago.

"Mr. Bates, I'm glad you finally called us. I only wish you had called sooner, we would have come right away." Mrs. Hughes grabbed hold of his arm and assured him of her intention to stay there through this.

"Thank you." was all John could manage to say.

"Bates, is there a doctor we could talk to? I would like more details." Lord Grantham asked with deep kindness in his face.

John looked at them, but through them. As he spoke, he recalled the final moments before they arrived. "I should have gotten her here sooner, but she was so strongly against it. I couldn't understand why but she insisted the pain was normal. I knew it wasn't...I feel so foolish, we wasted valuable time."

"You don't know that Bates, these things can be so complicated, and with it being her first pregnancy...how could she know anything was truly wrong?" Mary pulled up a chair and sat beside him near the window.

"I'm going to find the doctor," and with that Lord Grantham left the room with a determined walk. He was always awkward in these types of situations. Still, he wanted to be there for Bates, knowing that John had always been by his side through the worst of times.

After he left the room, Mr. Bates spoke up. "They won't tell him anything...they don't know anything more than I've already said." He vsat up in his chair and breathed a heavy sigh of frustration, "why won't they let me see her? I just want to sit with her. She shouldn't be alone, even if she is unconscious."

Lady Mary and Mrs Hughes both looked at one another concerned.

Mrs. Hughes tried softly to distract him. "Mr. Bates, you should have something to eat, or at least to drink, I'm going to fetch you some tea, you'll need your strength for when Anna awakens," she patted him on the shoulder and left the room as Lord Grantham returned looking just as frustrated as he did when he left. He stopped and stood at the door to the room.

Mary met her fathers eyes and he motioned with his head for her to leave the room so he and John could talk alone. Mary placed her hand on Johns' and said quietly, "I'm going to see if I can find Mrs. Hughes, I'll be right back." John stood respectfully as she left then sat down again while passing his hand through his hair.

With a deep look of concern on his brow, Lord Grantham sat beside John and stared at him with compassion. "Bates, what have you not told the ladies?"

John swallowed hard and looked at Lord Grantham, knowing he was asking in friendship for his confidence. As John considered what to say, tears pooled in his eyes until one escaped, streaming down his left cheek as he began, "the baby lived for only a few minutes, I heard it cry...her...it was a little girl. They asked if I wanted to hold her after she died. But I couldn't. Not without Anna, it didn't seem fair."

John swallowed hard and looked out the window continuing, "she was so small, I can't believe how tiny...a little life... It was incredible and horrible all in one moment... Anna never saw her."

"I'm so sorry," Lord Grantham said with tears in his own eyes. He knew too well the pain of losing a child. A grown daughter, an unborn son, and Mathew, who he loved as a son. He was too familiar with the death of those he loved most.

"How will I... ever tell Anna? She was as happy as I've ever seen her, the past few months, preparing...anticipating."

"There is no easy way Bates, I'm sorry to say. With all the tragedy in my own life, I know only this...It does _not _get easier to say or accept. But you will find a way."

John wiped his face with his hand and looked back out the window as the morning grew long.

"Bates. I want you to know, I will do everything within my power to support you and Anna through this. When Anna is well, we will prepare a proper funeral for your daughter and I will cover all the medical expenses necessary for Anna to recover."

John looked back at Robert, clearly touched by his words, "m'Lord, I can not ask you to do this."

"You're not asking. I'm telling you, this is the way it will be. You saved my life once long ago. Now allow me to do what I can to save Anna's.

John swallowed back tears, and looking defeated but very appreciative as he responded, " thank you m' lord."

Lady Mary and Mrs. Hughes quietly returned to the room both carrying cups of tea. They all sat together for the next hour mostly in silence, sipping the warm tea and waiting for news from the doctor.

At 10 am the morning nurse came into the room and announced, "the doctor will be in momentarily, he is finishing up with Mrs. Bates now."

John stood up quickly, his heart sinking into his stomach. What would the doctor report? He couldn't loose Anna too. Not after all they had survived this far together. John did not want to not live without her. The doctor entered and looked around the room at everyone then met John's eyes and hesitated for a moment.

"Doctor, you may speak freely, these are my employers and..."

"We're his friends," Lord Grantham quickly interrupted as he stood up and corrected Mr. Bates.

John looked at him uncomfortable but with grateful and kind eyes for saying such an honoring thing.

The doctor began to speak, "Mrs. Bates is running a very high fever, I'm afraid we will have to operate at once, I need your consent."

"Operate?" Lady Mary was the first to react to this news.

"I don't understand, what sort of operation?" asked a tired and confused John.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bates. But in order to save your wife's life, we will have to perform a rather new procedure. There were complications with the birth and we will need to do this right away." The doctor spoke with great urgency.

"Is it dangerous? Will it...effect her ability to have children?" John's face was pale and he looked exhausted.

I'm afraid, I just don't know," the doctor confessed.

Mrs. Hughes reacted to the news by covering her mouth and gasping. Lady Mary grabbed hold of John's arm as he sat back down. "Then... there might never be children?" A look of fear overcame him.

"This procedure is still very new and we don't have many results on the long term effect. But It will save her life. Perhaps one day she will conceive again, only I can not answer that question at this time. I'm very sorry."

"Is this the only option then?" Lord Grantham pursued more answers.

"Yes. I'm afraid it is. We were hoping she would improve over night but she has only gotten worse. I've had several opinions on the matter, she will not survive without this procedure." The doctor insisted. "Please, I need your consent now."

John looked up at him in disbelief but gave his consent to operate on Anna. "Yes, yes, do whatever you need to do. You must save her."

The doctor nodded his head then left the room. Lord Grantham followed him into the hall, "Doctor, please, spare no expense to do whatever you can for Anna. I will cover the cost. Do you understand?"

"Of course," and with that, the doctor left Lord Grantham standing alone in the hallway.


	2. Chapter 2: Breaking the News

As evening approached John was finally permitted to see Anna. She was recovering from a successful surgery in a private room, Lord Grantham and Lady Mary had insisted on it. John slowly opened the door to find Anna completely still and resting in a white gown, blood flowing into her veins from a hanging bag above her.

He grabbed a nearby chair, placed it quietly next to her bed and and sat down as he thoughtfully studied his wife. John searched for her hand in the bed. What he discovered was frail and cold. Gently raising her hand to his face, he pressed against it with his lips, trying to warm her with the softness of his kiss.

Watching Anna breath, John released a slow heavy sigh of relief. Just being near her caused him to feel slightly better. He was exhausted, but refused sleep. He had taken time to wash his face and comb his hair that afternoon, but his eyes were dark with grief and a two day old beard shadowed his face. They suspected Anna could possibly wake soon and John didn't want her to be without him if she did. Although he feared not being able to remain awake much longer, he rested his head for a moment on the bed beside her, still holding her small hand in his.

A parade of thoughts ran through his mind while he closed his eyes for a moment. John recalled the wonderful day they married, the many beautiful nights loving her, the exact moment she surprised him with the joyful news that she was expecting their child. His mind lingered on this memory for awhile. If he breathed slow enough, he could almost smell the fresh spring air, feel the warmth of sunlight on his arms as they shared a picnic together near their favorite lake. After finishing her own meal, Anna casually began to eat John's sandwich from his hand. He smiled at her, folding his arms in protest after she took a very big bite, leaving him very little. Pausing, she looked up at him playfully with her mouth full responding, "what? I'm hungry after all, now that I'm eating for two." How could he have imagined then what would happen to their wonderful blessing?

The weeks leading up to this horrible moment - when her beauty was enhanced by the wonder of pregnancy and her spirit ignited by the new life growing inside her - were some of their best times together. He couldn't stand the thought of breaking her heart with the news of the past few days. How would she bare this tragedy? Anna so very much wanted to be a mother, talking often of having four children. John would laugh with delight at her enthusiasm. Even now, he was smiling at the memory.

Anna began to stir, and John leaned in closer to her. His smile broke as she squeezed his hand slightly.

"John?" Anna asked, barely audible. "John..." She was pale and fragile, her eyes dark and her lips parched.

"Anna. I'm here. I'm right here with you." John stared at her with deep concern.

Slowly opening her eyes, Anna turned her head toward his voice searching for him.

"John." She smiled a small smile at him and licked her lips, trying to moisten them.

John kissed her hand again gently and spoke softly to her. "It is so good to see you."

Anna's eyes cascaded the room, not understanding where they were until suddenly, fear swept over her face as she began to remember.

"John..." she pulled the hand he held from his, and placed it on her stomach. John sat back in his chair, knowing what her next question would be. His breath left his body and his chest tightened in anticipation.

Where's the baby?" She asked somewhat smiling.

John pulled his chair closer to Anna, leaning in to be nearer her. "Anna, you've been very ill."

Struggling to feel more awake, she blinked several times.

"What happened?" she asked quietly, still confused.

John rolled his lips inward for a moment, trying to find the right words. He spoke slowly. "You're in a hospital, you've been very sick. I love you, and you're going to be all right now."

"Where's the baby John?" she persisted, rubbing her stomach. Of course this would be all she could think to ask. This was all she thought of for the past six months.

John swallowed hard. "Anna..." He couldn't find the words. The words that would break her heart forever.

She was struggling in her mind to remember. "Please tell me." her voice desperate.

"I'm sorry..." was all he could manage before tears filled his tired eyes, "we lost our baby." The color left his face.

Anna looked at him stunned for a moment, then began to shake her head in disbelief, "no, no, that can't be true."

John reached again for her hand and held it in both of his now, trying with desperation to somehow comfort her, "I'm so sorry, but it is." Tears began to spill from his eyes now.

As the sword of truth sank deeply into her heart, the most horrific sound came from his wife. All John could do in that moment was bury his head into the bed. It was done. He had broken her heart with the worst possible news. Anna sobbed loudly as her mind began to digest the bitter revelation. John stood, leaning his body down toward hers and trying to calm her. He was forced to hold her down with both hands over her upper arms. She was trying to sit up and wailing in misery.

Finally, the nurse rushed the room and gave Anna a fast acting sedative. She needed sleep to begin to heal. The room quickly grew quiet again.

John collapsed back into the chair with his right hand covering his eyes. He couldn't bare to see Anna's spirit crushed. How could this have happened? He wrangled with thoughts of defeat and anger. She deserved to be happy, to have children, to be a mother. The nurse turned to him and said."Mr. Bates, you also need to sleep. I can give you a sedative too if you'd like, but you really must sleep. You will be no good to her like this."

"Will she be all right?" He couldn't take his eyes off of Anna.

All the nurse could really say was " she needs rest, and now she will sleep for a long while."

"Yes. All right. I'll sleep then, but I won't leave her."

The nurse smiled a soft smile at him while offering, "we can bring a cot in here for you to sleep on if you'd like, you don't need to leave Mr. Bates. Now that you've broken the news to her...I don't think she should be alone either."

John looked up into the face of the gentle woman, who had quietly remained with them all this time. "Thank you Madam. You have been very kind through all of this."

"You obviously love your wife very much. She is lucky to have such a devoted man by her side," she paused her hand on his shoulder in an act of comfort, then left John alone in the room with Anna. For the next few days, they both slept there together, trying to heal their brokenness.


	3. Chapter 3: The Blindside of Grief

Weeks passed, then turned into months. John and Anna tried to return to something resembling normal.

They took on a sort of polite existence. Somedays Anna almost seemed like her old self, but never quite regained her humor nor the playful spring to her step. John worried that it might never return. He didn't know how to help his wife, and he knew her grief was different from his. He loved Anna desperately and feared she had fallen out of love with life. They hadn't been intimate since before they lost the baby. The doctor said this was not uncommon, and that most women take many months to completely heal. John was a patient man, and knew she was not withholding her love from him on purpose, yet he grew more worried with every passing day. He even stopped trying to hold her because she was often cold toward him and seemed to want more and more time alone. Anna at times appeared to even avoid him. He was heartbroken and confused, but convinced himself she would recover. Most days however, it felt like she was pushing him away.

On the mornings they both shared a day off together, Anna usually slept in. This particular day however, she arose early with John and they sat together in the kitchen having breakfast.

"What shall we do today?" John encouraged a conversation.

Anna seemed even more distant than usual but then looked up from her plate and spoke softly. "I would like to go into Ripon and visit our daughter's grave."

John's face grew sad. "Of course. We should."

"We have never visited her since the funeral and the long winter came. Now that its spring, we should plant flowers." She spoke while pushing her food around on her plate.

"Yes, I agree." John drank his tea and watched Anna until she noticed him staring. Then she placed her fork down on the table and forced a smile. John quickly finished breakfast then offered to clean the kitchen so Anna could get ready for their day.

Once in Ripon, they found the grave with the name Margaret Anna Bates. Together they planted flowers around their daughter's site but neither of them spoke a word. John watched Anna closely, wishing there was something he could do or say to reach her. He felt so distant from her, even in their grief. He often found himself wondering what she was thinking. They had developed such an open relationship early on in their friendship, where talking each night became the highlight of his day. He missed their long conversations.

The day was bright and beautiful with all the promise of spring. Anna took hold of John's arm as they walked their way down a long path leading out of the small cemetery. John was surprise by this gesture and welcomed it deeply. It was only in these infrequent small acts of love from Anna that he found solace for his own grief.

Once back in town, Anna sat on a bench under a large shade tree. Looking up at John she spoke with deep conviction, " You know you can divorce me if you'd like, I wouldn't fight it one bit."

John was blindsided by her statement. "What on earth are you talking about?"

He sat down next to her as his heart dropped into his stomach.

Anna stared into the ground as she continued. "I would understand if you'd like to divorce me that's all. It must be terrible knowing I can never give you children."

"You don't know that Anna. The doctor said it could still be possible."

"But I don't know that I want to ever try again John, and that isn't fair to you."

"Oh...I didn't realize, I..." he trailed off, unsure of what to say. He never expected her to confess such a thing to him. He assumed they would try again, but he also knew he would be okay if they didn't have any more children either.

"Anna... If we never have more children, I would still love you just the same as I always have." He reached for her hand but she pulled it away.

"You deserve more. You deserve a woman who is whole and can complete your life."

John couldn't believe what she was saying. "Anna, YOU are my life. Before I knew you, I was content to live my life alone, but now I could never live without you. I love you and our life together...whether we have children or not."

Anna paused quietly for a moment before speaking again. John feared the argument she was making against them.

"I know I've asked you so many times before, but tell me what our daughter looked like... please." She looked up into his face with her soft doe-like eyes. It broke John's heart that Anna never got to see their daughter.

"Of course I will tell you. But first, please allow me your hand."

Anna slowly reached for him and John took her tiny hand, enveloping it between his two large strong ones. Then pulling it up toward his face, he quickly, but gently kissed her hand as he began to re-tell the story he had told her many times.

"She was beautiful, like nothing I'd ever seen before. She was tiny, amazingly small in fact, with perfect hands and fingers balled up into fists, and she had a little bit of hair that was dark. Even though she was so new and not quite ready to be born, she looked just like you, the shape of her tiny mouth and her little jaw...it was incredible." He held tightly to Anna's hand as tears streamed down her face.

"I'm beyond asking why this had to happen John. I just want to be thankful we created something so beautiful together. I only wish things were different."

"I know my love, so do I."

That night while Anna cleaned the kitchen after dinner, John walked outside to gather coal for the fire, the spring nights were cold and damp. He couldn't stop thinking about their conversation under the tree that day. Anna had grown to be rather quiet. When she did speak it was often painful for John to hear. What exactly did Anna mean about not knowing if she ever wanted to try and conceive a child again? He feared the worst, could she possibly mean she would never allow him to make love to her again? John felt very troubled by their conversation. He couldn't believe she thought he would want to divorce her. He knew Anna was stubborn and that these ideas were still brewing in her mind. He decided then that he would bring it back up while it was still fresh in his thoughts.

When he returned, he found Anna sitting near the fire, she seemed miles away. She didn't even turn her head at the sound of him closing the door. He placed the coal bucket down near the doorway and walked over to sit with her. "I have something I want to ask you, and I need your honesty."

She turned to look at him, still seeming distant but looking into his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I don't quite know how to say it." He confessed.

"There are no secrets between us, just say what's on your mind John" she encouraged.

"Earlier, when you said you didn't know if you ever wanted to try to conceive again, did you mean we can never make love again?" He felt horrible for asking her this. But he missed his wife so terribly and living the way they had been, without any of the affection they always enjoyed with one another was becoming more than he could bare.

It was like a switch turned on in Anna's mind. Her face softened and for the first time in months she looked like herself. "Oh John, I've been a terrible wife haven't I?"

"Of course not! Anna, that's not what I'm saying. Not at all. I understand you're healing. Your body, your heart, your mind. I understand. I just miss you terribly."

She was silent.

"If I don't say it aloud, then I fear we will continue to drift farther apart," John confessed.

Finally, Anna looked at him with heaviness in her eyes. "I think you should divorce me then."

"Anna! Stop saying that!" For the first time, John allowed his frustrations to show.

"If you just think about it, you might agree with me...promise me you'll at least think about it," she spoke with soft sincerity.

"I will not." John was both stern, and heartbroken at the same time. He stood up and walked over to the fire. Placing his hand on the mantle, he closed his eyes for a moment. He was very hurt and fearing her conviction.

"Why are you so insisting that we divorce? I can't imagine one reason why you would think this is something I would want." He turned to look at her. She appeared small, bundled up on the couch alone. Her feet up on the cushion with her arms wrapped around her knees like a small child.

Anna gave him a sort-of-smile, looking as though she knew something he did not.

"You deserve more, and I want someone better for you" she finally responded then looked back into the fire.

John's voice was low and soft, "Anna, there is_ no one_ on this earth better than you...and I have never deserved you in the first place."

John walked back toward her, she continued staring into the fire. He sat back down on the couch next to her as close as he could possibly get. "Anna, look at me."

Slowly, she met her eyes with his. There was fear and pain in his face. "Stop this talk of divorce, I'll not have it between us. I love you more today than every day before." He tilted his head hoping for a resolution. There would be none tonight.

Reaching his arm around her he pulled her close. She felt stiff and unyielding. John wanted nothing more than to kiss Anna, carry her to bed and make love to her. But if holding her was all she would allow, then he would do it all night and not let her go.


	4. Chapter 4: The Hollow Fill

Lord Grantham was summoned early the next morning by telegram. His attorney George Murray sent word he would need to meet with him the next day in London. It was of absolute urgency as plans for the future of Downton needed to be settled. He left a forwarding address in London, mentioned he himself was in transit to that location and requested Robert plan to remain there for several weeks in order to resolve financial matters that had escalated.

Robert was downcast when he read this news. He attempted to fluff it over with Cora during breakfast by emphasizing there were financial matters that had been put off since Mathew died and he simply could no longer avoid them. It was nothing to be concerned about he assured her, just a matter of finalizing plans Matthew had previously put into motion and never concluded.

Outside in the courtyard, John worked on Lord Grantham's riding boots in the soft morning light. As he polished the leather, his mind retreated to the previous night, when he had fallen asleep in front of the warm fire with Anna in his arms. After their painful discussion, she seemed to eventually melt into his body. His words were loving, and his hold on her tight, absolving some of her self- deprecating thoughts that troubled him so, and excusing the grief that disoriented her every thought.

Before they drifted into a deep sleep, John's hands lingered around her, gently rubbing the ends of her long hair between his fingers. He relished the sensation of those silken blonde strands. When a soft moonlight separated the darkness of the room and rested brilliantly upon Anna's satin skin, John stared at her wonderful long eyelashes, thankful her despairing eyes were finally at rest. He reasoned her willful state of mind, pondering ways to assure her of his undying love and loyalty. He would never leave her again - had she forgotten his promise?

When he awoke in the middle of the night, he waited until she stirred before urging her to bed - grateful for those hours of peaceful sleep they had found together in his loving embrace. John could only hope she felt deeply loved and safe in his arms - he yearned to be that way with her again. Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted as one of the hall boys ran into the courtyard informing of Lord Grantham's request for him.

John returned to the house and met Robert upstairs in his private dressing room. "M' lord, you've sent for me?"

"Yes Bates. I'm afraid we need to leave for London first thing tomorrow. I've arranged for our departure on the early morning train." He was fiddling around the room looking for a book.

"For how long m'lord?"

Robert stopped and looked directly at John, his face seemed apologetic as he responded, "we'll need to remain there for several weeks, quite possibly a month."

John's eyebrows raised in shock at this news.

"I know old chap, it's certainly a long time away from home. How is Anna getting along these days?"

"She is...still not herself," John spoke with care, as he did not want to reveal how devastated he was at the news of this sudden extended trip.

"I'm sorry Bates, I wouldn't ask you to leave Anna for this long if this wasn't an urgent matter. The fact is, I need you there with me in London, not only for your services, but also for your support. This trip is detrimental to the future of Downton. Do you understand?"

"I do. Of course."

Robert discovered the book he was looking for, and opening it, he continued " maybe it would be best for Anna to stay here in the staff quarters while we're away."

"Yes, I agree, and I will talk to her about it and begin preparing for our departure right away. Will that be all?"

They both nodded to one another, and John left Robert alone in the room to find Anna.

He was in anguish at the thought of leaving her for such a long period of time. He could not however, protest against going with the very man who aided the survival of his beloved. How could John refuse? The fact was, he couldn't, and he knew not to even breach the subject with Lord Grantham. Instead, John dutifully accepted the task at hand and began preparing for their imminent departure.

Later that morning while on his way to the attic where they stored all the luggage for the house, John ran into Anna in the upstairs hall.

She gave him a small smile, "There you are. I heard you were looking for me earlier."

"I was," he gave her a half smile, she knew something was amiss.

"What is it?"

John looked around the hall and when he confirmed no one else was near, pulled Anna into one of the guest bedrooms closing the door behind them.

"I have to leave for London first thing in the morning with his lordship."

"All right. I'll get home before you, should I pack your overnight bag?"

"Anna, Its not a day trip. We'll be gone for awhile."

"How long is awhile?"

"Several weeks I'm sorry to say."

"Oh..." She was clearly disappointed by this news, and John oddly felt relieved by her reaction.

Anna lowered her head and thought for a moment before confessing, "I don't want you to go."

John's heart leapt in his chest, and he couldn't help contain the smile that began to form. "I hope you mean that."

Anna looked up into his expectant face, her heart drowning those blue eyes with emotion. "John, I know I haven't been the wife you need for a very long time, but you helped me remember something very important yesterday...You really do love me, unconditionally." Her face burned with embarrassment and heartbreak.

John felt a surge of emotion run through his body at her affirmation but didn't ponder it very long. Instead he quickly reached for Anna, pulling her against him for a tender embrace. Emphasizing his words, he responded "Yes...I love you Anna. You are my life; my every thought is for you, this is not to be forgotten. Not ever."

She pulled back from him, resting her hands on his chest while he maintained a strong hold around her waist.

"I'm so sorry...I know I've hurt you with what I've said and by pushing you away. I've just..." her lips began to tremble as she struggled to explain.

John interrupted shaking his head slowly at her, "No...You don't need to apologize. Yes, I was hurt, and confused. But don't you realize? I would never let you divorce me. We have committed our lives to one another through the best of times and the very worst. I understand your gesture came from your love for me. It was self-less. It was also maddening, but it was self-less love."

Anna lowered her head for a moment feeling ashamed. John reached for her chin and slowly lifted her face toward his again, sliding his thumb over her lips for a brief moment.

He still felt unsettled. "Something else is bothering you. Tell me," gently John encouraged her, still holding her chin up and tilting his head lower to question the aversion of her eyes.

Anna shrugged her shoulders; "I had a dream last night that I wanted to tell you about."

"Go on," he insisted.

Anna hesitated and shook her head in disagreement. "Maybe now isn't the right time."

"Anna, please don't hold anything back from me. Now is all the time we have, I'll be gone for possibly a month. Tell me."

"In my dream... we adopted a child."

John smiled a smile so big, even the creases near his eyes were raised upward, "that sounds like a good dream."

"Maybe you could think about that while you're away?" Anna bit her bottom lip, as was becoming her nervous habit these days.

"Yes. Now _that, _I will think about." He spoke with gentle sincerity and assurance.

John leaned forward to softly kiss Anna's head, then smiled lovingly at her. She reached for the back of his head, and pulling him down toward her face, she perched up on her tiptoes and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.

"I'm sure you will need to leave before sunrise in the morning, will you be very late working tonight?"

"I shouldn't be, I'm nearly finished packing for his lordship, and I'll need to have time tonight to pack my own things."

"I enjoyed our fire last night, maybe we will have time to enjoy one last spring fire together."

"I would like that."

John's eyes glistened over at her invitation and his heart nearly split inside his chest. Just when they were gaining ground against the hollow of their lives, he was forced to leave her.


	5. Chapter 5: The Remedy of Love

John felt relieved. He accomplished packing for the trip to London before nightfall; even managing to make his way to the cottage, before the dinner dressing gong, to pack his own things. Everything was ready for departure in the morning; all that was left to do would fall to the responsibility of footmen to load luggage on the car in the morning. Lord Grantham sent John home after dressing for dinner, insisting he could manage changing later for bed on his own. He greatly appreciated John's obedience to his request for the long trip without offering any complaint, so his lordship graciously afforded John and Anna a long evening together for a proper farewell.

The sun, just beginning to set behind the hillside as John approached the cottage, illuminated the sky with a burnt orange hue. While admiring the sky, he was surprised to discover smoke billowing from the chimney, he smiled realizing Anna had built her own fire. She had grown accustomed to fending for herself when the need arose. As John opened the door he was greeted by the warm blazing fire in their hearth and appreciated feeling welcomed home for the first time in a very long while.

John, always thinking of Anna, had carefully pulled flowers for her during the walk to the cottage. There were plenty in bloom as spring began to sweep across the fields, providing a blanket of wildflowers for the picking. He didn't see Anna so he made his way to the kitchen in hopes of finding her there. When she wasn't there either, he arranged the flowers into a small bouquet and left it on the table soaking in a glass vase of water. Then he turned to make tea and after a few moments poured a cup and retreated back into the parlor. John began poking at the fire for a few moments before turning to respond to Anna descending the stairs.

"I thought I heard you, how long have you been home? She was already dressed in her nightclothes; a soft white robe covering a short nightgown, her long hair tied off at the bottom with ribbon. Anna hadn't worn her hair like this in quite some time, most nights it was in the usual long neat braid.

John adored her for a moment before responding, "not very long, just enough time to get settled and make tea. Would you like some?"

"No thank you, I've had my fill for the day."

She seemed different tonight, somewhat lighter. Something in her had changed. Smiling softly Anna walked toward John and embraced him tightly, then pulled away to stand alone admiring her fire. This was the second time today she had welcomed him into her arms and it soothed his concerns toward her. Whatever it was that caused these subtle changes to begin, John was comforted by her tender mood.

"The fire is nice. Its damp outside, I was pleased to walk into this warm room with a blazing fire already going. Thank you."

She gave him a bigger smile for his appreciation, "I was happy to do it for you."

"Anna, there was something that I had wanted to mention to you earlier...his lordship requested that you stay at Downton while we are away. You see, it would lighten my worry to know you are safely under the same roof with the rest of the household."

"Mrs. Hughes already insisted that I stay at Downton in the staff quarters while you're away, and I agreed to it. It will do me no good to spend the nights alone. I know that."

She smiled at him warmly and brought John peace with eyes brighter than he had seen in many months. Titling his head, John gave Anna a pensive look. He loved her more than his words could ever convey. The past 6 months had worn on him terribly worrying about her, living through his own grief. It had been an exhausting season, one he was hopeful, they were finally moving out of.

Although he could think of nothing else but his desire to capture his wife in his arms and ravish her with affection, he held back, not wanting to ask for something he was convinced Anna was not yet ready to give in return.

Anna noticed the way he was looking at her, she had not seen that look on his face in quite some time. Having realized just recently, the emotional turmoil she added to his life during the past year, Anna hadn't quite fathomed just how bad things had gotten until she heard herself speak to him the other day. Even her words did not sound familiar to her own ears. Who had she become? How had she allowed herself to fall that deeply into despair? It frightened her. What if John had actually wanted to divorce her out of his deep devotion to give her whatever she needed? What was she thinking by offering that option? Encouraged it even! She felt foolish and never more grateful for his spirit of patience and unyielding love for her and their marriage. She wanted to show him tonight before he left her, just how much she loved him. Anna needed to feel John close to her, she needed to reconcile herself to him and recommit their lives to one another before he went away.

"John, I want your thoughts of home to be of me while you're away."

" They are always about you, even when I am here." His eyes were kind and careful. His look seemed desperate, as he wanted to pull her in and kiss her deeply in that moment.

Anna did not want to resist him any longer; she needed to feel his love again. She too wanted to kiss him, but still resisted reaching out.

"John, what I mean is...I don't want you consumed by worry, I'm getting better. I believe I've turned a corner."

"I know you have. I can see it already." He smiled softly, no longer able to resist touching her, he reached for her hands with both of his and pulled her close to him, raising his head, she nestled under his chin in a familiar and comfortable way. They both released a sigh of contentment and relief as they embraced.

"I will miss you while you're away. I'm sorry I haven't given you much to miss about me lately."

"Don't say such a thing Anna, we'll have none of that tonight. I already know, that I will long for you from the moment I wake each morning until the moment I drift to dreaming of you each night. And we'll write, like we used to. Only now, our time apart will be very short."

Anna smiled with intense gratitude; John had a way of saying what was on his heart with such reassurance. She nodded in agreement while looking up into his face. They remained quiet for a moment just smiling at one another like they had done every day before the heartache consumed them.

Swallowing hard and tilting his head to peer lower at her, John confessed softly. "Anna, I would very much like to kiss you."

Raising her hands to his face, Anna pulled John toward her. He let her lead and closing his eyes felt her softly kiss his mouth once, then twice and three times - each one soft and wet and tasting of peppermint. As she continued to lavish him with more kisses, he raised his hands to rest over hers. Their small kisses quickly turned into something more intimate, and as their resolve lessened and their desire grew, John and Anna found themselves lost in each other again.

The moment lingered gracefully until John stopped them suddenly. Pulling Anna's hands from his face he continued to hold her while leading them to the couch.

"Come, sit with me." Pulling her around him, he sat first. She followed, sitting closely.

"Is something wrong?" Anna was confused why John stopped their affections from progressing. Didn't he want her as much as she wanted him?

"I don't know." He peered at her with questionable eyes.

"John, please. Forgive me for telling you to divorce me."

"I already have."

"Then...what is it?"

"I don't want to rush you into something you're not ready for simply because I'm leaving tomorrow."

She looked somewhat relieved, "Oh...You're not rushing me. I kissed you first." Her eyes glimmered while giving him a sly smirk.

John smiled at her playfulness, but still had a hesitant concern about him.

"John, I know what I'm doing, and I know exactly what I want," Anna encouraged.

"Do you?" he asked playfully in return, tracing a lock of hair behind her ear.

Anna locked eyes with John's, studying his admirable resolve before speaking again.

She began slowly, "I need to feel your warmth against me...your hands about me...your kisses upon me...I want to make mad love to my husband." She sounded confident.

John tilted his head again, still concerned yet slightly aroused by her profession. He felt his heart pounding in his chest.

Anna contemplated his resistance for a moment then shared something she had read that day.

"I was reading this afternoon when I came across a quote which I believe offers meaning for...well, for what we've been going through."

John smiled softly and encouraged her, "tell me."

"Henry David Thoreau wrote, _there is no remedy but to love more._"

They sat silently, breathing the simplicity of those words.

"Don't you see John? Our antidote for all the grief that pains us is simply, to love more."

John's resolve was melting as he realized Anna's invitation. Those were wise words. He felt his face burning with emotion as tears amplified all the love he had for her. Slowly he gathered her hands in his, and raising each one separately, kissed the tops of her small fingers with his warm lips. Then spreading open his hands, she mirrored him for a moment as they pressed their palms together and slowly laced fingers. They were quiet in that moment, and blinking, both released a stream of tears down their faces.

Then reaching for her face with one hand John wiped away a tear and responded tenderly, "no remedy...but to love more?" He hesitated, seeking permission in her eyes before bidding, "Anna, please let me love you more...this very night."

Anna closed her eyes, her voice desperate, "Oh John, please do."

He leaned in carefully. First grasping her face completely with both hands and resting his forehead against hers. Then kissing her head softly, he moved slowly to her cheeks, then her lips, as they emulated what they had started earlier.

That night, John and Anna consummated their love for one another again, in front of the warmth and soft glow of the fire. And at last, put an end to many months of emotional suffering.

Morning came too quickly. John didn't bother trying to sleep; he knew he could sleep on the train without Anna, and hopefully relive the previous night in dreams. While he reveled in their intimacy, he wouldn't dare sleep a moment of it away. John savored how warm and soft she felt in his arms.

He was thankful. Thankful her heart and mind were beginning to heal beyond the grief, thankful she stopped talking of divorce, thankful Anna wanted him last night as much as he wanted and needed her. The room began to change color as dawn encroached upon his final moments with her. John felt as though he could be sick, his stomach hollow, his eyes filled with tears. He couldn't believe it had been nearly 8 months since they were properly together like this. Anna began to stir slowly; he moved her soft blonde hair lovingly out of her face.

Anna. He would surely die without her.

John reluctantly pulled his arm from beneath her body and gently left her alone in the bed. He took careful attention to cover and tuck her in so she wouldn't feel the cool morning air on her naked skin. And standing over her for a few moments more, John watched her gently breath. Adoring her. Anna had slept calmly through the night, once she gave in to the demand of sleep. She had tried to fight it, continually talking and asking John questions about adoption and what it might be like to welcome an orphan into their home. They made love three times that night. The first in front of the warm fireplace, the second and third times in the comfort of their bed. Neither seemed to tire of the other. God, had it really been that long? It had. Both needed to reconcile themselves to the other – reaffirming their commitment and trust. It had been a glorious night. Different in so many ways than when they were reunited after he was released from prison. This time, Anna had been the one imprisoned away from John, needing time to heal emotionally, time to mend physically. John wept with tears of relief and tears that meant he was already missing her. Finally he left her to wash and dress for the long day ahead.

When John returned to the bedroom to kiss Anna goodbye, he didn't find her in bed. He made his way downstairs and discovered her at the open door of the cottage. The morning air smelled wet and cool. She stood there breathing in fresh air, wrapped in a large blanket she had stolen away from the bed. Her eyes still sleepy, her nose red form the chilly air, her face revealing fresh tears. She didn't turn to look at him as he wrapped himself around her, instead leaning back into him Anna rested her head against his chest. He was dressed in a dark black suit and his long overcoat. The day felt like it would bring rain.

Anna broke the silence first. "Last night was beautiful John."

"It certainly was," he kissed her head.

"I couldn't let you leave without seeing you off."

"It's cold, you should run back to bed now."

"Is it time?"

"It is I'm afraid."

Anna sighed loudly. "Let's not say good-bye. Just kiss me and tell me you love me."

John turned Anna around to look into his contemplative eyes. Leaving her had never been more difficult. Was it the hope restored by their wonderful night of lovemaking? Could it be that he felt a strange fear creeping inside him at the thought of leaving her alone for so long? Did he not believe that fait had brought them this far, through so much turmoil, that he still did not trust he deserved happiness? He wanted to cry with her but cleared his throat thwarting the emotions away. He didn't want to leave Anna like this but knew he would be late if he didn't soon move. He felt lost. Scared. Desperate. All the emotions of being strong for Anna came crashing down on him in that moment. It was five minutes past his time to leave. In a surge of emotion, John swept Anna up off the floor into his devoted embrace and pressing his lips upon hers, held her there for a long moment.

Placing her gently down on the floor, John whispered into her ear, "Anna, I love you. Everything is getting better now. I can't wait to come home to you. Now close your eyes."

And with that, John kissed her perfectly one last time on the lips and left quietly. Her eyes still closed; his eyes blinking away tears.


	6. Chapter 6: Suspicious Minds

Nearly two days had passed and the servants' hall was a bustling chatter during lunch. This time of day always provided a moment of rest for the staff. Lady Grantham suddenly entered, and everyone stood at once and went respectfully silent.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt your lunch, but I was wondering if I might borrow you for a moment Anna."

Smiling warmly Anna patted her mouth with a napkin before responding, "of course Milady."

Walking out into the hall, she led Lady Grantham into Mrs. Hughes private study.

Once inside they began speaking in private, "Anna, have you heard from Mr. Bates since he and his lordship left Downton?"

"No ma'am, I have not."

"Is that odd for you?"

"It is. It is very odd. I suppose then, that you haven't heard from his Lordship either?"

Cora was biting her lip before responding, "not a word. I was thinking, perhaps we should call Mr. Murray's office to inquire about them."

"May we do that now?"

After Cora nodded eagerly, Anna led her ladyship into Mr. Carson's study to use the phone.

When they reached the office, Anna held out the phone receiver to Cora, who shook her head and refused it. "No, you should call, he'll only try to avoid speaking with me."

Anna nodded then began dialing, "Mr. Murray's office please."

_Hello?_

"Hello, Mr. Murray? This is Anna Bates of Downton Abbey."

"_Yes Mrs. Bates, how can I help you?"_

"I was calling to confirm the arrival of Lord Grantham and Mr. Bates to London."

"_Oh? They're coming to London?"_

"Yes, they should have arrived yesterday afternoon. They planned to meet with you sir."

"_With me? I wasn't expecting them, is something the matter?"_

Anna's face looked confused, her brow furrowed.

"Yes. I believe so. His lordship received an urgent telegram from you on Monday requesting he travel to London to meet with you right away."

"_This is very odd. I didn't send any telegram to Lord Grantham."_

"You didn't? Well, what on earth...who would have sent such a telegram?"

"_I'm afraid I don't know. Mrs. Bates, are you certain they were traveling to London?"_

"No. I suppose I don't really know that for certain," she looked at Lady Grantham, shook her head with confusion as her ladyship grabbed the phone from her.

"Mr. Murray, this is Lady Grantham."

"_Your Ladyship."_

"Am I to understand you did not send for my husband to London and you have no plans to meet with him?"

"_I'm sorry ma'am. You are correct. I did not send for him and I do not have plans to meet."_

"I don't know what to make of this. I read the telegram myself. It appeared to be from you and gave specific instructions to meet you at Glenarm Street. I have no reason to suspect his lordship was going to London for any other reason."

"_Perhaps, I should look into this further. May I return your call after I've made some inquiries?" _

"Yes. Please do. And Mr. Murray, I don't need to request your anonymity do I?

"_You have that Ma'am, without asking."_

"Thank you."

They hung up the phone. Anna and her ladyship looked confused.

"Anna, I don't know what to think. His Lordship at times may have held back the truth to protect me, but he has never outright lied to me about something so important. Especially not an extended trip such as this."

"Yes, Malady." Anna's face grew worried and a line formed across her forehead.

"This still doesn't change the fact that neither of them have called. No matter where they might be, Mr. Bates would have still called to tell me they arrived safely."

Lady Grantham tilted her head back to look at the ceiling, deep in thought. "Well, its one thing that they haven't called, but it's quite another thing that Mr. Murray did not send for them. I don't know what to make of this Anna."

"Does Lady Mary know about this?"

"No. I've spoken to no one but you."

"Perhaps we should tell her. She has a different network in London than his lordship. Maybe someone could help us."

"You're probably right. I will talk to her first, then we will send for you. In the mean time Anna, wait by the phone for Mr. Murray to call back."

"Yes ma'am. I will."

Only fifteen minutes passed before the phone rang. Anna answered it quickly and was relieved to discover Mr. Murray calling back with some news.

"_Mrs. Bates, I've confirmed that his lordship and your husband did in fact arrive safely to London yesterday afternoon."_

"Well that is good news."

"_I've also confirmed that they checked in to their usual rooms at the London Gentleman's Club with the intention of staying for a few weeks."_

"Yes? Well, that was the plan they intended to carry out."

"_However, they left together yesterday soon after their arrival and did not return. No one has seen them since."_

"What do you make of that Mr. Murray? Should we be concerned?"

"_I don't know yet what to make of it Mrs. Bates. I can't say for sure that it is concerning, but I do find it unusual that they received a telegram from me that I did not send."_

_Try not to worry; I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for all of this. I will continue to inquire about them."_

"Thank you Mr. Murray, we'll be in touch if we hear anything," and she hung up the phone.

As Anna turned to leave, she ran into Mr. Carson.

"Anna, Lady Mary rang for you in the library. Is everything going well today?"

"Yes. Mr. Carson."

"Are you expecting any more phone calls?"

Anna tried to hide her concern and anxiousness from him. "Its possible yes. I was taking a message for Lady Grantham."

"Very well then. I will send for you if you receive another phone call."

Anna felt awkward; know that Mr. Carson could be trusted but not wanting to worry him with this matter quite yet. They had no answers after all.

"Thank you Mr. Carson. I'd best attend to Lady Mary."

As Anna hurried out of the hall and up the stairs, Mr. Carson watched her with concern. He was well aware something was out of order and didn't like the thought of potential trouble lingering. This house had seen its fair share of trouble through the years.

Lady Mary and her mother were seated in the library discussing the oddities of Lord Grantham's trip to London when Anna arrived.

Lady Mary quickly asked, "Anna, did we hear a telephone?"

"Yes. It was Mr. Murray." Anna proceeded to explain everything he had told her during their brief conversation when they were interrupted by one of the footmen announcing the arrival of the Dowager Countess.

"Oh Lord. I'd forgotten she was coming over for tea. Not a word of this to your grandmother, do you understand Mary?"

"Of course Mama." Mary gave her an agitated look for assuming she needed reminded to keep this matter quiet.

Lady Grantham stood up to leave the room and instructed the footman, "We'll take our tea outside this afternoon," and left Anna and Mary alone to talk further.

Mary still maintained an annoyed expression and waited until the others were out of ear shot before asking, "Anna, do you suspect Papa might be having an affair in London?"

Anna looked baffled by this question and shook her head, "What? No. Lady Mary, I don't have any reason to consider that a possibility."

Mary stared at her for a moment. "Do you think Bates would confide that kind of information with you? I'm sorry to have to ask this, I know you have every right to share the confidence of your husband, but..."

Anna interrupted, "You're right to ask. This is a delicate matter, and I know this much...Mr. Bates is very loyal to his lordship. There _are _matters that we never discuss at home out of duty to this family. I suppose...there are possibilities that they could be meeting someone besides Mr. Murray in London."

"I'm afraid that is what Mama suspects, only she hasn't said it plainly."

They were quiet for a moment considering the idea of Lord Grantham's potential betrayal before Mary spoke again.

"I know someone who might be able to help. His name is Erich Adler, he was an old friend of Matthew's and he worked for Scotland Yard for many years as an investigator. He's obviously confidential and I think we need to enlist his help to find out what's really going on."

"I agree. And I can't shake the feeling that something isn't right. Mr. Bates would call me if he could. I don't know why he would cause me worry by not calling."

Mary shook her head, she understood Anna's concern, "I will call Erich now. I'll ring for you again when I know more."


	7. Chapter 7: An Unfamiliar Ally Arrives

Erich Adler was a childhood friend of Matthew Crawley. His mother, a common woman from London, worked in a dress shop and his father a German heir to nothing of particular importance, owned one of the first automotive plants in Germany. Erich, an only child inherited very well when both his parents died in a train crash. He flew as a test pilot when he wasn't working at Scotland yard as an investigator and enjoyed the novelty of putting his life in harms way. He loved women, but not nearly as much as he loved himself.

Although Matthew spoke highly of Erich, Lady Mary was never very fond of him nor his whimsical notions about women. Despite this, she needed his help and would over-look his annoying behavior in order to utilize his well regarded investigative skills and reputation for confidence.

That afternoon, Erich arrived in bold fashion, driving a mercedes-benz as quickly as any motor car had ever entered the grounds of Downton. Everyone was unimpressed, but not more than Mr. Carson who wanted to turn tail and lock every door to Downton leaving Mr. Adler outside alone in the swirling dust that trailed behind him.

It wasn't that he lacked class or charm, in fact, he had both. It was that he didn't care for either. His mother, a commoner, was frequently ill-treated for her lack of status and many considered her the ruin of his father's estate. None of which was true and it broke Erich's heart. He always defended and stood by her side but rarely behaved with graceful manners merely out of spite to his father who never defended her. As soon as Erich started talking about flying planes however, no one seemed to notice his lack of etiquette. In fact, ladies suddenly found him very charming and gentleman urged one another to meet him.

Later that day Anna overheard the younger female servants whispering about how dashing Mr. Adler was. She smiled to herself as she recalled having those very same conversations years before she fell in love with John. She even chatted with them for a few moments before Mr. Carson turned corner and all the girls scattered like mice, leaving Anna standing there alone.

Ignoring the flurry of young maids, Carson focused only on Anna. "Does Lady Mary require anything special for this evening?"

"I don't believe so, but I will ask her."

"I think Mr. Adler might be staying longer than a few days." Carson had no idea why Erich was really visiting but he already couldn't wait for him to leave.

"Really? I hadn't heard. I wonder if Lady Mary knows his intentions?" Anna was testing to see what Carson might know.

"Well, we'll have to wait and see I suppose," was all Carson offered her in reply.

Just then Erich Adler entered into the hall with them. He had been roaming through the servant's area.

"Oh, there you are...its Anna isn't it?" They were both surprised to see him.

Mr. Carson, obviously disgruntled by Mr. Adler's presence in the servant's area interjected. "How can I help you Mr. Adler?"

"Well, I was searching for Anna, and I've found her. I suppose you could best help by leaving us to talk privately." He responded in a playful tone, although Mr. Carson was clearly insulted.

"As you wish." was all Mr. Carson offered as he walked away with sharpened curiosity.

Anna had not noticed when she first met Mr. Adler the extreme qualities of his appearance. "Handsome" was not quite the appropriate compliment. With soft molten-brown hair, slightly curly and cropped close to his head, a concrete jaw and cheekbones that appeared chiseled, and consuming deep water-blue eyes. Anna noticed only that he stood as tall as John. No longer in his formal suit, he wore only a simple white dress shirt that clearly displayed the strength of his forearms below the sleeve rolls at his elbows. She was struck by how casual he was dressed as a guest in the middle of the day at Downton. He looked more like a gardener than a gentleman.

"Why were you looking for me Mr. Adler?"

He glared at her for a moment before speaking, exploring her features with his roaming eyes.

"You're a rather tiny woman Anna."

She felt her face blush, "I beg your pardon?"

"You're so very petite aren't you? My mother was petite. I find that I'm usually surrounded by robust men, so when I come across a creature like yourself, it strikes me as...delightful."

Anna just stood there blinking at him. Unsure of what he was talking about, or why. "oh." was all she could summon.

Erich continued to appear astounded by Anna's small features. "Look at you, I think I could actually fold my hands around your tiny waist and..."

Anna took a step back away from him as he absentmindedly motioned as though he would actually reach to grasp her waist. "Mr. Adler, please."

He started laughing to himself, as he raised a fist to his mouth resting his elbow on the other arm folded around his chest. "I'm sorry. Do forgive me. I forget my manners all the time. I'm just so used to blurting about whatever's on my mind."

Anna relaxed finally and gave him a small smile. "Its quite alright. You just...surprised me Mr. Adler. Now what is it that I can do for you?"

Erich gave Anna a wide grin, "Well now, I could think of many things I would like you to do for me..."

Anna blushed at his bold statement and nearly broke into tears but instead cleared her throat cutting off the possibility of charming him with her emotions. She was angry and wanted desperately to run into John's arms in that moment. How could this man dare say such an insult to her. He knew why he had been summoned here - in part to find her husband!

"I'd better get back to work." She sounded frustrated and didn't try to hide this fact as she started to walk away.

Erich stepped in front of her to stop her. "Anna please. I do apologize. Let me explain.."

Anna hoped he had been looking for her to discuss John, but he seemed in no hurry to do so. She wondered, knowing that one or several other people were lurking around the corners to overhear - what they might think of his impromptu and crude visit to the servants' hall.

He smiled at her softly for a moment, clearly admiring her then looked around to see if they were alone, "Anna, honestly, I was testing your nature. Forgive me, I needed to know what kind of wife you are to Mr. Bates. Do you understand?

Anna let out a breath of relief. "You were testing my loyalty to Mr. Bates?"

"Yes...and you are an honorable woman. Very few women can resist my looks." He said this with such matter-of-factness that Anna allowed her self to do a double take of his appearance. She felt slightly dishonorable for her agreeable thoughts.

"Anna, actually I was hoping we could speak alone for a moment about..."

"Of course, but not here. I'll meet you upstairs in the library."

He squinted his eyes at her and inhaled his lips for a moment, before saying, "I would love to meet there, except I don't know where that is."

"Right...of course you don't. Well then, you'd best follow me." Anna walked past Erich and started up the stairs as he followed her only with his eyes.

Anna paused on the stairs and turned to look back at him, annoyed slightly. "Well? Aren't you coming Mr. Adler?"

He smiled brightly and jumped the railing with one swift movement, brushing up against Anna as he landed on the stair behind her. "As you wish, I'm following."

Anna just looked at him for a moment, first astonished that he leapt over the railing so easily, but more-so that he seemed to sway her opinion of him from one extreme to the next. In one instant she could go from admiring his kindness and intellect to loathing his rather obvious admiration for himself. Not wanting to fuel his ego, she said nothing and continued walking the stairs and on to the library. Erich followed swiftly behind.

When they reached the library, Anna was relieved to find Lady Mary there.

"Where on earth have you been Erich? I've sent half the staff around looking for you." Lady Mary made no attempts to hide her already deepening frustrations with Erich.

"My apologies, I was trying to get a "feel" for the place.

"I believe we should discuss why you're really here and get straight to the point. Anna, please lock the doors to ensure we are not interrupted and stay to discuss this matter with us."

"Yes milady," Anna quickly locked the library doors as Mary began explaining specifically what had transpired over the past couple of days with his lordship, Mr. Bates, and Mr. Murray.

When they finished the initial story, Erich began questioning them both for more details.

"Mary, does your father have any known enemies?"

She considered this question for a moment then raising her eyebrows responded, " Not that I am aware of, but I suppose that is always possible, however I do think it is unlikely."

"Why do you think it unlikely Mary?"

"Father is a very fair man, and he is very generous. Even more these past few years."

"Yes. He is _very _generous." Erich sounded as though he was insinuating something more.

"What are you trying to say Erich?"

"Are you aware that he sends money to support one of your former maid's children through school?"

Mary had no idea what he was talking about but did not want to give the impression that this was something unusual. "Father frequently supports those who are less fortunate. There is nothing unusual about that."

Erich kept looking at Mary trying to read her expression when he moved on to ask, "And Anna, what about Mr. Bates? Does he have any enemies?"

Anna shrugged her shoulders slightly and gave a concerned look as she responded. "He spent time in prison when he was wrongly convicted. It is possible he made enemies."

"Did he ever talk about anyone in particular?"

"His cell mate gave him a bit of trouble while he was there, but he never made mention of him again once he was released, so I'm not entirely sure."

"What had he been convicted of?"

"Killing his first wife."

Erich was slightly shocked by Anna's response. "Oh...well, you don't hear that everyday. Do you ever..._doubt _his innocence?"

"Erich! don't be rude to Anna. Mr Bates was proven innocent." Lady Mary would not tolerate anyone speaking against Anna.

"It is quite alright milady. I believe that is a fair question coming from an investigator. Especially under the circumstances. And no, Mr Adler. I never doubted my husband's innocence. Not for one second."

"Very well..." Erich found Anna even more fascinating for her profound trust in Mr. Bates.

"Mary, obviously Lord Grantham trusted Mr. Murray with the finances of Downton for many years, did Mathew have the same trust in Murray as your father?"

"Well...he did continue to work with him, even after there was a disagreement about the future development of the estate's finances. Mathew would have never worked with someone he didn't trust."

Erich paused for a moment and reviewed his notes. "I seem to have more questions than answers at this point I'm afraid. I would like to speak with Tom Branson. Has he been made aware of this situation?"

Mary looked at Anna, then back to Erich before she responded. "No. No one beyond myself, Anna and mother are aware. I suppose we do need to inform Tom, perhaps he can be of more help. Anna, will you please summon him here as soon as possible?"

Anna stood at once, "of course milady, will you need me further or shall I return to my duties?"

Lady Mary empathized with Anna for a moment as she realized how weary she must be. "Oh Anna, I'm so sorry. You must be exhausted from worry. Perhaps you should return to the cottage for an afternoon of privacy and rest."

"Thank you Lady Mary. I will find Mr. Branson and then I think I _would_ like some time alone. Please telephone me if you think of any further questions Mr. Adler."

Lord Grantham had insisted on installing a telephone in the cottage when John was continually worried about Anna during her pregnancy. At first it was bothersome as Mr. Carson took to telephoning them more frequently than they enjoyed. They had relished in their privacy as soon as they moved into the cottage together, and away from everyone at the house. But now Anna was thankful for the telephone because now, without John, the cottage felt too far away from everyone.

Anna made her way back to the cottage quickly. She hadn't been home during the few days since John had left for London. Part of her desperately hoped she would find John waiting for her, as though nothing had happened. But once inside their cottage, the reality of the cold and quiet home, bereft of his warmth and loving presence, consumed Anna. She hurried through every room, searching for answers, desperate for comfort, hearing only her own echo as she ran. Finally, upon entering their bedroom, she fell to her knees and sobbed. Where was he? What could be going on? For the first time since John left, she allowed herself to consider the worst. What if she never saw him again?

Anna pulled herself from the floor and fell into their bed. Hugging John's pillow, she breathed in the wonderful scent of her husband. Anna felt hollow regret for the many months she had suffered silently while he remained loyal and constant. John never pushed her to talk or caused additional angst during the many months after her miscarriage. On the contrary, he was steadfast in his patience and love for her. Many days, her only solace was his presence. She was beside herself now, worrying and thinking only of him. She needed him and would do anything to find him. Why were they not going to London to look for John and Lord Grantham? Anna flew up out of the bed. Why was she resting? She had to find her husband. She was going to London if she had to do it alone.

With a renewed determination, Anna packed some of her things, changed clothes and started down the stairs when the phone rang. She dropped her bag and ran to answer.

"Hello?"

"Anna? Its Tom. Mr. Adler is on his way to the cottage, he just learned of some helpful details from Lady Grantham. Gather your things to travel to London tonight.

"Yes! Why on earth we aren't already there...who all is going?"

"Mary isn't going. She is afraid to leave George behind and he's fighting a fever today. She will stay with him and Sybil. I will go with you instead."

"Thank you Mr. Branson. I will be ready when Mr. Adler arrives."

As soon as she hung up the phone, there was a knock on the door. Anna opened the door to find Erich already there to gather her up.

"Mr. Adler."

"Did Tom alert you to our plans?"

"He did. I am already prepared to go to London."

"Yes. It would appear that way. Were you planning to go without us?"

"I am prepared to do whatever it takes to find my husband Mr. Adler, even if that means doing it alone."

Erich looked at her with a slight admiration in his gaze. "I believe you would Anna. Mr. Bates is a lucky man. But lucky for you...I won't let you do this alone. Give me your things, we're leaving."


	8. Chapter 8: London Arrivals

**The Day John and Lord Grantham arrived in London...**

John and Robert arrived in London late in the afternoon. The train had been delayed and as they settled into the usual gentleman's club where his lordship preferred staying for business, they both ordered a late lunch and retreated to their separate rooms for a bit of a rest. They agreed John would meet his lordship in an hour to prepare him for their initial meeting with Mr. Murray. John quickly ate his meal and returned to the foyer to use the telephone for a call to Anna. When he attempted the call, he discovered the phone was not working properly. He resolved to try again later after their meeting and returned to his room to unpack.

After the hour passed, John ordered for a car and driver to take them to meet Mr. Murray. He watched as Robert walked outside, his shoulders slumped, his face tired. John suspected he was already dreading whatever news awaited them from Mr. Murray.

Their eyes met as John began to speak, "I've requested a car milord."

Robert seemed distracted for a moment and shook his head. "Oh. I thought we could walk. Its not very far old chap, do you mind? I could use the air."

"Of course not milord, I'll cancel the car, and we can be on our way."

Robert and John walked several blocks to the city centre before passing through a few back alley ways to find the address where Mr. Murray had instructed them to meet. Looking around the street and up at the building, Robert decided he did not like his solicitor's new office. "Well, this is a rather dreadful place. Wouldn't you agree Bates?"

John was staring at the rough looking building- under construction, "Yes milord. It certainly is quite a travesty from Mr. Murray's former office building. I wonder why he moved."

"Indeed. Perhaps he is facing financial ruin as well." Robert wasn't usually one for sarcasm when it concerned the Abbey, but the day had already been long, leaving him in quite a distasteful mood.

John opened the door for Robert to enter the building. Together they walked a long hall filled with unopened boxes and large pieces of furniture. At the end of the hall, John knocked on the only door. A young man opened the door and John announced His Lordship's arrival. They were welcomed and entered the room, which was unusually dark and smelled damp. Their eyes adjusted to the dim light and wandered quickly toward the windows, covered by wooden shades. John had the feeling something was amiss moments before he heard the door close behind them, and lock. John looked at Robert and quickly turned back toward the door, it only took a few steps to reach it. When he tried to open it, John confirmed that it was indeed locked from the outside. He could not open the door although he kept trying. Then they heard something slide up against the door, assuring they were blocked in the room. Robert ran to the door and began pounding on it as John stepped back. This was no use, no one was responding but he pounded his fists against the wood nonetheless.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" Robert demanded, yelling.

John walked over to the windows, the shudders were locked as well, he tried without success to remove one of the shudders but they were nailed all around the window frame, covering the windows. Only a small sliver of light shown through at the bottom.

He attempted to break off one of the shudders with his cane. One came loose and as he pulled it off, he discovered the back of the building was facing a brick wall, offering no apparent way to escape.

Hours past. John and Robert sat on the hard wood floor waiting. Wondering. The room was mostly empty except for a small desk and several empty wooden traveling trunks. They each leaned against a trunk in front of the door, one on either side, facing each other.

"Bates, I'm beginning to think we were never summoned here by Mr. Murray."

"It would appear not, unless he too is the victim of this cruel prank."

"I suppose we'll eventually discover what is going on."

"Milord, does anyone else know where we are?"

Robert thought for a long moment, "Cora read the telegram but I don't recall if she took note of this address and I never mentioned it to anyone at the club."

"I regret to say that I was unable to reach anyone at the Abbey regarding our safe arrival. The telephone was not working when I tried to call Anna."

"Perhaps that will prove to be a good thing Bates. If they don't hear from us, they will worry. Although I don't wish to cause concern for any of them, I also don't believe this predicament will move in a positive direction."

"Nor do I milord." John threw his hand down and pounded his fist willingly against the floor a few times in frustration.

* * *

**Several days later...**

Erich, Anna and Tom arrived in London by nightfall and headed straight to the gentleman's club where Robert and John had checked in. Erich hoped to find the telegram amongst their things allowing him to follow up on a possible location for their meeting.

The manager let Anna into John's room. She gasped when she found his things laying neatly on the bed. Observing that he had started to unpack the day they arrived, she gathered up one of his shirts in her hands and held it close. Then, Anna noticed the desk. There was a sheet of writing paper and a pen. As she walked toward it, she realized there was writing on the paper. Picking it up she began to read a letter John had started to write her.

_My Dearest Anna, _

_I thought of nothing else but you on the train ride here. How could my thoughts be consumed by anything except the beautiful night we shared together before I left? I am filled with such warmth as I consider who we are together. Despite all we have endured, our love only grows stronger through every hardship. This short time away will prove only to strengthen my love for you, and my resolve to do everything within my power to protect you as best I can. If only my love were enough to do that very thing._

John never finished his letter. Anna felt sickness rising in her chest, her heart was pounding as she raised the letter to her lips and kissed his hand-written words to her. _If only MY love were enough to protect you John!_

Erich stepped into the room a moment later. "Anna? What have you there?"

She turned to face him, he noticed tears rolling down her cheeks. "I found a letter Mr. Bates has started to write to me...he never finished it."

"Anything in there that could provide indication as to where they were going that afternoon?"

"No. Its simply a lovely personal letter with no details of the trip."

"Oh. I'm sorry, of course. I'll leave you to it."

"No. Mr. Adler, we've wasted enough time already. What do we need to do next?"

"I just spoke with Lady Mary to alert her of our safe arrival and she informed me that Lady Grantham thinks she remembers the street name where they were directed to meet Mr. Murray. Tom and I are going to look into it. Would you like to join us or remain here?"

"I need to feel purposeful Mr. Adler. I will go along with you."

When Erich and Anna returned to the main entrance of the club, they met Tom there. He had just spoken with the club chauffeur.

"Apparently Mr. Bates had ordered a car and a driver to meet he and Robert the afternoon they arrived. But he said Bates cancelled it, indicating they would walk and he never disclosed the actual address." Tom was disappointed with the news.

"Well, that's actually rather good news." Erich replied thoughtfully.

"How is that good news Mr. Adler?" Anna was surprised by his encouragement.

"If they walked to their meeting, it couldn't possibly be that far from here. You said Mr. Bates walks with a cane from a war injury. I wouldn't expect his lordship to make him walk very far after such a long day of travel. Would either of you?"

Anna looked somewhat relieved and felt slightly encouraged as she considered this, "no. of course not. You're right, his lordship always looks out for Mr. Bates."

"Well then, at first daylight we will walk toward Glenarm street, and see what we find. In the mean time, let's check in to the hotel down the street and get some rest, I anticipate we will have a long day tomorrow."


	9. Chapter 9 : What Matters Most

After several days of calm silence, John and Robert heard voices on the other side of the door. John's head snapped up as soon as he heard one of the voices laughing, but quickly dismissed the encroaching thought in his mind.

Just then a small 4-inch by 6-inch window at the top of the door slid open and their captor greeted them. Peering in at them sitting on the floor, a gleeful smile was offered and the snide welcoming words, "welcome to hell gentlemen." Then, just as quickly as it opened, the small window closed again and they heard footsteps leading away from them and down the hall.

"Well that was beyond odd. Bates, what do you make of that?"

John's face was stone blank and his face grew pale.

"Bates?" John didn't move. He didn't blink. He held his breath.

"What is it?" Robert looked at him with grave concern.

John could not answer.

* * *

In the morning, Erich, Tom and Anna started walking the several blocks toward Glenarm Street when they realized the area they were walking into suddenly looked as though it was under construction. Many of the buildings were vacant, very few motorcars passed through the streets and in fact, they hadn't passed a single person on the street in a very long time. Erich noticed a light dust covered everything. Bricks, windowsills, even the streets were coated in a soft light colored dust. After a few more blocks Erich stopped them in their tracks.

"Hold it!" Erich, between both Tom and Anna held out his arms to stop them from moving any further.

"What is it?" Tom looked around with concern.

"Do you see that?" Erich was pointing to the ground.

"See what Mr. Adler?" Anna asked with confusion.

"See there? On the ground in front of us? There are only two sets of footprints, and to the right of the one set is a continual patterned mark."

"Yes, I see it. Do you think...is that?" Anna was afraid to be hopeful.

"...from Mr. Bates' cane?" Tom finished Anna's thoughts for her.

"Yes. It could be." Responded Erich.

"But what could that mean? How old are these prints?" Anna seemed frustrated.

"I don't know Anna. This area appears to be completely vacant and void of other inhabitants. And no rain has fallen here in several days. These could be their original footprints on the day they arrived. Or they could also be fresh from today. I don't really have any way to confirm either way."

"Oh... Well, at least. Perhaps we're on the right trail?" Anna looked exhausted. She hadn't really slept in several days.

"Anna, we must continue, will you be alright to go along?"

"Yes! Of course. I feel oddly, like Mr. Bates is near. Don't ask me how that is, I just have an instinct about it."

Erich smiled at her. "Hold on to your instincts Anna. I always trust mine." And he gave her a quick wink.

Anna felt a twinge of hope creep back into her heart. They continued walking down the street as she tried to walk inside what she hoped were John's footprints.

* * *

John finally blinked his eyes, then turned his head to look at Robert, his face growing paler as he began to perspire rapidly.

"Bates, you look dreadful. Are you ill?"

"I am milord... excuse me." John pulled himself as quickly as he could from the floor and made his way into the adjacent bathroom. He was grateful for the privacy as he vomited violently. After a few minutes passed, John threw water on his face and rinsed his mouth. Then slowly rejoined Robert in the other room.

"Well that came on sudden Bates. Will you be alright?" Robert met John near the bathroom entry.

"I'm sorry milord. I'm not ill. Instead I felt as though someone had kicked me in the stomach." He was leaning against his cane and the doorframe to the bathroom.

"I see...what aren't you telling me?"

"Milord...I know our captor all too well."

"Bates, don't keep me in suspense. Who is it?"

"You might not want to believe me." John was reluctant to answer but he was confidant he knew what he saw was no illusion. "I don't know how its possible...but I would know that voice, that dreadful laugh, and once I saw that face...my suspicion was confirmed."

"Bates who on earth is it?"

"It was without a doubt, Vera..."

"What!?... Are you certain? How can that be?"

"I wish I wasn't certain. I don't know how its possible, but it was her."

"My god...what on earth is going on?"

"Whatever it is...I'm drastically more concerned now than I was before."

They heard someone moving a large object away from the outside of the door, then it unlocked and as the door opened slowly, in walked Vera.

She was commanding and poised as she began to speak, "well, look at the sight of you two. I'm dying to hear how surprised you are to see me...Well, I suppose dying isn't the most appropriate choice of words now is it?" She smiled a wicked and smug grin at John. "Oh indeed...Now imagine my surprise to learn they didn't hang you darling, as they should have." She stared at John, still standing in the doorway to the bathroom, glaring at her with every bit of hate in his body and more."

"What in god's name? You _should_ be dead, the world deserves to be free of you." John's eyes were calculating, bitter.

She smiled a devilish grin. "Well, if you had at least remained in prison, then I wouldn't have come back to finish my revenge on you...although it has presented me with new opportunities."

Lord Grantham spoke up, "Where have you been all this time?"

"Ahhh, yes. All this time I've been enjoying the luxuries of America. Its wonderful there you know. You can _buy_ class, with enough money, anyone can be an aristocrat."

"So why aren't you still there? Or did they send you back after you managed to wreck the lives of everyone you encountered?" John's mind was still spinning at how this was even possible.

She laughed her cackle. "I'd forgotten how fun our verbal sparing matches could be John! " She smiled then grew solemn very quickly. "I did find a wealthy suitor while I was there. And of course a new identity was in order, we had planned to marry in the fall. Life was delightful until the old man choked to death on an olive at lunch one sunny day. He of course forgot to mention our engagement in his estate records. I sent for some London newspapers one morning and read of the late Mathew Crawley's death and turning a page saw a photo from his funeral, and lo and behold in the background I saw my husband standing alongside his devoted...well, what shall I call her John? She's obviously not legally your wife after all now, is she?"

John was fuming; if possible his stare alone could have killed her in that moment.

"What is it that you want?" Asked a tired and angry Lord Grantham.

"I want to return to New York City. I was happy there. The weather is nicer, there is more to do and I don't have to work or answer to anyone. But I need money, and that's where you come in."

"So you've summoned us here to provide you with the means to set you up with a new life?" Lord Grantham was anxious to get to the point.

"Well, it's not just the money I want...I want to also torture John. I do so enjoy doing that."

"The mere sight of you is torture enough." John looked away in disgust.

"I can hold you both here as my captives for as long as I need to. But your torture does not lie within these walls. You've yet to realize, my chosen weapon of torture will be to capture Anna." She then looked at Lord Grantham. "And to motivate you, I shall also hold captive the lovely Lady Mary."

"You'll cause no harm to our families!" Robert stepped forward as if to assault Vera and John moved forward to protect his Lordship if needed. But Vera pulled out a handgun from the handbag she had been carrying.

John and Robert stopped at once and glanced at one another, then back at Vera.

"You're mad. You're not capable of managing such an elaborate kidnapping." Robert did not want to believe her.

"Am I not? Really? You've obviously forgotten the grand success I had faking my own death and assuring my husband would be convicted for it."

"That's what remains the grand mystery here. How did you do it? They processed a body for the trial..."

Vera smiled a knowing, confident and arrogant smile. "It was easier than you might think."

"She'll not tell us your lordship, and risk her own neck to be hung for murder."

"You've got that right my dearest husband."

"Madam!" A voice called for Vera from the hall.

Without taking her eyes off of John and Robert she yelled in response, annoyed by the interruption. "What is it?"

"Madam, come quickly, you will want to see this."

She glared at Robert as she left the room, "start thinking about how you're going to arrange my financial demands." And with that, she quickly left them alone in the room.

John ran his hands through his hair, "my god, we've got to get out of here!"

Robert began pacing around the room. "What do you think she intends to do with us?"

"I don't know. Another sick revenge on me I suppose. Swindle as much money out of you as she can."

"And once she has the money?"

John rubbed his forehead, his eyes were closed. " She'll want my survival, so I live out every day knowing she has won, I don't think she would risk killing either of us milord...but I dare speak what I really suspect she'll do."

Lord Grantham paused from pacing to look John in the eye. "You're worried about Anna and Mary."

"Yes milord. Vera is pure evil, and with enough money, she will accomplish ruining my life - again...and yours I'm afraid."

"We'll not allow her Bates. She walked in here alone, and despite her weapon surely we can overtake her if we plan ahead."

"Perhaps. But what if she succeeds at capturing Lady Mary or Anna in the mean time?"

"Then we remain at her mercy."

* * *

Erich, Anna and Tom continued walking and following the ongoing trail of double footprints they had discovered several blocks away. Suddenly however, the trail stopped.

"I don't see it anymore." Anna said with disappointment.

"Nor do I." Confirmed Tom.

"Well, nevertheless...if that was indeed their footprints, at least we know they were or are in this area."

"Now what are we to do?" Anna was growing anxious.

"Anna, I've been thinking. Considering this deserted area and the obvious lack of traffic, it is possible that they are in one of these building. It might be best for us to hold up in the area and scout about to see if anyone else appears in the street."

"Okay." Was all Anna could offer.

"However, I think you should return to our hotel and get some rest. You look very tired love." Erich was genuinely concerned for her, but also something was unsettling about that area and he couldn't quite figure it out just yet.

"I can't rest. I need to be here," she refused his suggestion.

"Mr. Branson? Don't you agree? Anna looks exhausted."

"Anna, Erich is right. We will find you if anything changes, but I think it best for you to get some rest. We could have another long day in front of us tomorrow if nothing turns up tonight."

"Why do I feel like you're trying to get rid of me?" Anna continued her protest.

"Anna, truly, you should rest. We can't concern ourselves with our own demise or if one of us falls ill, then it will completely deter our true mission here." Erich hoped that statement would finally motivate Anna to return to the hotel.

"Yes. Of course, I hadn't thought of it that way. I will go back to the hotel and try to rest. Please find me right away if you learn anything new."

"We will Anna. We'll talk with you soon either way." Encouraged Tom.

Anna turned around reluctantly and started walking back to the hotel.

"What' really going on Erich?" Tom seemed concerned as he watched Anna walking away.

"We're being watched."

"How do you know?"

"I saw a flicker of light a few times from a window across the street. Don't look that way. In fact, let's start moving in the opposite direction as if we didn't notice anything."

"Will Anna be safe to walk back alone?"

"Yes, we'll be right behind her. If anything happens, we'll be right there to intervene."

"Wait a minute. Did you just set her out as bait?"

Erich looked at Tom without any remorse. "She'll be fine. We're right behind her."

* * *

Vera burst into the room again. This time she brought a young man with her. He was yielding a rifle and dutifully performed as her guard. Both Robert and John sized the boy up and down, considering if they could take him down if given the chance.

"You have visitors in London." Vera spoke with as much delight as her raspy voice could convey.

"And to who are you referring?" Lord Grantham inquired reluctantly clearly annoyed by her.

"The lovely Anna, accompanied by two dashing young men. I believe one is your son-in-law Mr. Branson, but I'm not sure who the other is...but oh, what a dish he is to savor the eyes upon. Young, very handsome, and taking good care of Anna I might add. She appears quite fragile these days. Married life isn't as blissful for her?"

John considered who the other man could be but said nothing to Vera. He felt both relief that Anna was near but fearful she was in harms way here in London, so close to Vera.

"I believe my plan is working out rather nicely. Now is the time you will write your own ransom letter Lordship."

"I will do no such thing." Despite the misery and harsh reality of their predicament, Lord Grantham was still an honorable and noble man and not willing to be compromised at this point.

"We'll see about that." Vera stormed out of the room. The young boy following quickly behind.

John looked at Robert with sincere concern. "Milord. I would do what she says."

"How can I Bates? Think of Anna. Surely, she will want to involve her in the money transaction to insure our full cooperation."

"We need to suggest another way and convince her of it."

"What do you have in mind Bates?"

"For now, you must appease Vera's request and write whatever letter she wants. Then, we will open a negotiation with one of the boys involved helping her. The only way they would be here is if she promised them large amounts of money. Why else would anyone kidnap an Earl? The consequence is sharp for that sort of crime."

"Alright Bates. And what do we hope to achieve with one of these boys? How can they be trusted?"

"They can't milord. But we have to at least try, perhaps we can discover their motive and if it is only financial, then their loyalties can be easily swayed.

"All right then. Call her back in here, let's begin this charade of cooperating."

* * *

Meanwhile, Erich and Tom continued to follow behind Anna as she made her way back to the hotel.

"Erich, do you remember which building you thought someone was watching us from?"

"Yes, we'll double back as soon as we know Anna is safely in the center of town and surrounded by more people."

"So you weren't putting her out into harms way then?"

"Of course not Tom. I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a callous bastard. I would never put a woman, especially one as lovely as Anna, in harms way."

"I misjudged you then."

Erich smiled confidently. "Not to worry. I'm plenty used to it."

When they lost sight of Anna in a crowd of other people, Erich and Tom started running back to the building Erich suspected had suspicious activity. This time however, they made their way on a different route bringing them in from the back of the building.

Anna quickly reached the hotel. It was very near the club where John and Robert were supposed to be staying. She considered checking back to see if, by any chance, they might have returned. She felt melancholy having been in John's room, seeing all of his luggage unpacked, neat and orderly on his bed. Part of her wished she could rest in his room, surely she would find some solace amongst his things. Instead, feeling hot and dirty from the long morning, she threw off her hat and fell back on her bed. Without any effort at all, Anna quickly fell asleep.

What felt like moments later, she was startled awake by a loud knock on the door. While trying to gather her thoughts, Anna noticed the clock in the room indicated she had slept for a little more than 4 hours. She heard the knock again and someone called for her, "Mrs. Bates, are you in there?"

"I am, one moment please," Anna made her way to the door and upon opening it she was greeted by a hotel doorman.

"Mrs. Bates, I'm ever so sorry to disturb you, but I was given this letter to deliver to you right away. They indicated it was of an urgent matter."

"Who indicated? Who delivered the letter?"

"He did not leave his name Ma'am. I'm sorry."

"What did he look like?"

"He was a young boy, a messenger of sorts."

"Oh..." for a moment, Anna hoped beyond reason that it might have been John himself. She took the letter and thanked him for delivering it to her so quickly.

Anna closed the door and held the letter in her hand. Part of her felt very afraid to open it. She wished Erich and Tom were there with her and wondered with a sick feeling why it was delivered directly to her. No one knew what hotel they were staying in. She quickly opened the letter realizing it could only be from Erich or Tom.

_Dear Anna, _

_First let me ease your concerns for Mr. Bates. He and I are together safely in London. We are involved in a matter that requires your deepest confidence. It is not without concern that I ask you to carry this burden. I need your assistance transferring money to a private account. This money is to meet a ransom request for the release of Mr. Bates and myself. Please contact Mr. Murray to arrange this transfer - the money will need to come directly from Matthew's shares. I will send another letter to you with details of the demand. You are being watched. I urge you to act discreetly and with care. Our captor is not to be undermined. _

_Lord Grantham_

Anna began to weep softly. This was not at all what she expected to find in the envelope. She felt neither relief nor fear. She did not know what to make of this letter. How could it even be proven that Lord Grantham sent it? She wanted, needed proof that John was safe. She had none.

There was another knock at her door. It was Erich. She quickly ushered him in and he realized she had been crying.

"Anna? What is it?"

Handing over the piece of paper to him she responded, "I just received this letter."

Anna wiped her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror as Erich read through the letter.

He dropped his hands and looked up at Anna, thoughtful of what he had just read.

She met Erich's eyes looking back at her through the mirror. He walked slowly over to her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders in a comforting way. "I'm sorry Anna, you must so worried."

"I just want this to be over. I want Mr. Bates back in one piece, safely. No matter what it takes." She dabbed her eyes once more. "What do you make of the letter?"

Erich backed away from Anna and took a second review of what was written. "I'm not honestly sure what to think of it."

"Do you believe it was really sent by his Lordship?"

"Do you recognize his hand writing?"

Anna shrugged her shoulders and made a frustrated smirk with her lips. "It seems familiar, but I'm not sure. Perhaps Mr., Branson could review it and say more positively...where is he?"

Erich was softly staring at Anna. "He's keeping look out. We thought we were being followed this afternoon."

"Really? The letter states that I am being watched. So then...we are?"

"Yes. Very possibly."

"What else happened this afternoon?"

"We'll talk more about it Anna after we've had something to eat. Did you rest?"

She sighed heavily. "I slept actually, I hadn't intended to, but I fell asleep without even trying."

"You obviously needed the rest my dear. Let's get something to eat."

"I suppose you won't allow me to protest."

"You need to eat whether you want to or not. And I'm famished, so let's go."

"Fine. Please let me freshen up a bit first." As Anna closed the door to the bathroom, there was another soft knock on the door.

Erich opened the door to find Mr. Branson had returned. He let him in and Tom looked around the room. "Where's Anna?"

"In the bathroom. We were just getting ready for dinner. Will you join us?"

"Have you told her?"

"No...not yet. But a letter arrived for her."

"A letter? But I thought..."

Erich interrupted Tom and handed him the piece of paper. "Here, you should read it."

* * *

Robert and John were exhausted. Neither had slept much during the four days they sat as prisoners.

"Bates, do you ever wonder about the afterlife?"

"Milord? That's a bit dreary of a topic considering our current state of affairs..."

"Yes, perhaps it is, yet, of course it is on my mind because of the state we're in."

"Well, I would by lying if I said I never wonder...I'd like to think we reunite with those we loved most in this life."

"Yes...indeed. For me to see my darling Sybil again...and Mathew. My father of course, and so many friends lost in the war..."

John sighed heavily. He didn't want to embrace the melancholy Robert was wallowing in that evening. Soon the long night would fall upon them. The restlessness of trying to find sleep on the cold, hard floor was already weighing heavily on his mind.

"And what about regrets Bates? What would you have done differently in your life, given the chance?"

"Well that one is obvious. I would have never married Vera."

Robert gave John a gruff laugh at that. "Of course. Do forgive me...my mind is wandering all around my own life's regrets today."

John titled his head to examine Robert's face. He looked deeply troubled, his cheeks, were drawn inward and his jaw peppered with stubble. John realized he had never seen Robert with much facial hair before. Even in the war, Robert always managed to be clean-shaven.

"Milord, we have much to be thankful for in our lives. Which means, we have much to fight for. Pondering regrets will only cloud our resolve. Let's focus instead on what we will do when we return to Downton."

Robert gave John a half smile and seemed to pull out of his somber lament.

"I'm sorry Bates. You are a true friend to me, to speak words of encouragement while I mull in such a dispirited tone. Do forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive milord. The days are long, the nights even longer. And I suppose...one could argue that I am very skilled at managing through the lull of time."

"One could also argue that your time in prison was not wasted, instead it served as a preparedness for this particular horror. You are able to draw strength and hope from that experience, whereas I...I can only see...well, I can't see clearly. That's the problem."

"Let us focus only on our plan then. Vera's messenger should have been able to locate Anna by now; she should have your ransom letter. Together, with Mr. Branson and whomever else is helping, they should be able to decipher your hidden warning to not prepare any money."

"Our next step is to confirm if your second letter was safely delivered to Mr. Branson. Have you heard our ally return to his post yet?"

"No Bates, I haven't. In fact, it's rather too quiet on the other side of that door tonight isn't it?"

* * *

Anna, Erich and Tom ate a quick meal together at the hotel then retreated to a quiet corner at a nearby pub.

"Alright. I've eaten Mr. Adler. Now please come out with whatever news you have from the rest of the day." Anna looked back and forth between Tom and Erich with nervous anticipation.

Tom looked at Erich to respond first. "Anna, we intercepted a second letter from his Lordship today."

"What do you mean a second letter? Whom was it addressed to?"

"To me," Tom responded quietly, almost ashamed.

Anna blinked and stared at them with hesitation, "Well, what did it say?"

Tom pulled the letter from his breast pocket, unfolded it and as he began to hand it over to Anna, stopped short of giving it to her.

"What is it Mr. Branson?" She recognized fear in Tom's eyes.

Tom swallowed hard. "Perhaps I should just read it to you."

"You'll kindly hand it over to me please. I'll not be kept in the dark any longer."

"Give her the letter Tom. Anna is more courageous than most men I know." Erich stared at Anna with deepening respect.

Anna felt her chest tighten at Erich's words, and the hollow of her stomach flood with fear. When Tom finally handed the letter to Anna, she recognized a vast amount of dried blood splattered about the paper.

"Whose blood is this?" Anna spoke in a desperate whisper.

"We ran into a bit of trouble...getting the letter."

"Whose blood is this?" Anna asked again louder than a whisper.

"It happened so quickly, I couldn't..." Anna interrupted him.

"Tom...tell me whose blood this is." She had not referred to Tom Branson by his first name since he was employed as chauffeur of the house, many years before. But this moment was bereft of any formal proprieties. In this moment, she demanded the truth from him personally.

Tom's face reddened with shame as he stared back at her in silence.

"Anna, what Tom does not want to say is that he was forced to kill a young boy for this letter, " Erich defended Tom but was almost too comfortable admitting the truth to her.

Tom slumped back in his chair as the truth of what he had done came forward.

Anna's face softened. She felt relief, and then she felt shame for feeling relieved. As long as the blood did not come from the body of her husband, she didn't seem to care otherwise.

"Gentleman. As long as the blood does not belong to Mr. Bates or his lordship, I neither care nor need an explanation." She lowered her eyes to read the letter.

Tom let out a huge sigh of relief when Anna offered no protest at what he had done and Erich's appreciation for her only deepened. He offered her a keen squinting glare and sly smirk with no recognition from her in return. She only wanted to read the letter.

She recognized John's handwriting at once, and that's what mattered most.


	10. Chapter 10: Change of Plans

Tom and Erich watched Anna closely, anticipating her questions about what had happened that day. Anna's hands shook as she read over the letter.

_Mr. Branson, _

_Trust that the young man delivering this to you means to help and do what he asks under our instruction. As I am writing this, his lordship is writing a letter requesting ransom for our release. It will be delivered to Anna and should be read by you at once – there will be subsequent letters regarding this ransom request. We have been held captive since our arrival in London. The building is abandoned and located at 689 Glenarm. We are trapped on the first floor - something large blocks the door. Please assure Lady Grantham and Anna we are both well. They, and Lady Mary are in danger - please insure their safety. Without time for details, you need to know our captor is a very much alive Vera Bates. Her plan is elaborate but we are confident our escape can succeed with the help of our inside ally bringing you this letter, and your cooperation with his instructions. Give Anna my love and assure her I will see her very soon. _

_John Bates on behalf of Lord Grantham_

Anna held back tears as she read John's words. If only she could assure John of her love for him. Anna didn't contemplate very long after reading the letter before asking, "How can this be? How can this be Vera's doing?"

Tom was the first to respond, "Its unbelievable isn't it?"

"The boy you killed? Was he their ally?"

Tom continued looking at Anna, his faced warped with fear, "It was; he was carrying this letter."

"But why did you kill him?"

"We were following him. It all happened so quickly. We struggled to gain control of a knife he charged at me with and he fell on it… and died soon after. We discovered this letter on him."

"Did he say anything?"

"...Nothing helpful."

"So you don't know what the instructions are from Mr. Bates?" Anna almost sounded hysterical.

"I'm sorry Anna, we don't." Tom reached for Anna's hand but she quickly pulled it away - from the hands that killed her husband's ally- and covered her mouth in despair considering all he had said.

Attempting to comfort Anna, Erich intervened the conversation. "We might not know their plan, but we have confirmation of where they are."

"But what about the other letter? Why did we receive that if they plan to escape?"

Tom speculated that he knew why, "I believe they are making it appear as though they are requesting money to appease Mrs...uh, Vera. But his lordship's request clearly states the money should come from Mathew's shares."

"So what does that mean?"

"I think it is his way of saying not to prepare ransom. We invested Mathew's shares after his death. Mathew's money is tied up long-term, there is no longer an account to withdraw money from."

Anna pondered for a few moments before asking, "what did you do with the boy's body?"

Tom looked at Erich, "we hid it." Erich responded coldly.

"You hid it?"

Tom spoke up, "we had to run. Another group of boys were coming."

"So what do we do next?"

"_You..._do nothing. You heard your husband's warning, you're in danger, and we mean to keep you safe. In fact, I think you should return to Downton Abbey." Erich spoke very sternly.

"I will do no such thing Mr. Adler. I've never backed down from Vera, and after all she's done to ruin John's life, I will not leave now that I know for certain where he is."

Erich smiled at her. "Well, I didn't think you'd go soft on us now anyway, but I had to try for a harsh warning nonetheless."

Anna gave them a determined look. "We need to devise a plan, and we need to do it now. I'll not risk my husband's life any further to this crazy woman."

"I've already enlisted for help. There are several colleagues on their way to meet me here. We'll devise a plan and take action tonight."

"Why have we not involved the authorities now that we know where they are?"

"Lady Mary and Lady Grantham have asked us to do whatever is necessary. We have more freedom to act on our own than under the authority of Scotland Yard. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I do. I just want my husband back safely. I don't care how, just do it."

* * *

_Anna curled her legs up and purred softly as she stretched her arms in the air. A warm hand wrapping itself around her, John pulled her quickly back against his body and Anna giggled joyfully. He ravished her neck with his mouth and pushed her long hair up and over the top of her pillow. Then positioning himself above her, he began to laugh._

"_What is so funny Mr. Bates?" _

"_You should see your hair."_

" _I thought you loved my hair messy."_

"_Messy, yes. But right now it looks more like a bird's nest atop your head." _

_Anna giggled. "Well then...I will braid it tightly before bed every night for the rest of our lives."_

_No longer laughing, he played serious for affect. "You'll do no such thing."_

"_Oh really? And who's going to stop me?" _

"_I'll torture you, right here, just where you like it." And he lowered himself to her stomach to tickle her with his scruffy morning chin. _

_Anna squirmed beneath him and laughed until she could barely breath, "okay! okay! I won't do it!"_

_John stopped the torture and looked her in the eyes teasingly, "You won't do what?" _

_She gave him a delicious grin and rolled over saying, "I won't listen to a word you say!"_

"_Oh. You are naughty when you want to be aren't you?" and with that John began tickling her sides with his fingers and torturing the back of her neck with his chin._

"_Stop! Stop! I promise! I promise! Anna was laughing hysterically. _

_John stopped and flipped her back over to look at him. "You promise what?"_

"_You're relentless Mr. Bates!" _

"_Tell me what you promise."_

"_I promise NOT to braid my hair before bed every night for the rest of our lives." She lay there so beautiful, so innocent and comfortable with him. Her hands softly above her head, John leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose playfully. "Tell me what YOU promise John."_

_He smiled. "I promise to make love to you everyday for the rest of our lives."_

"_That's quite a promise Bates", Lord Grantham chimed in. John looked over his shoulder to find Robert standing in their room._

"_John! Where are you?" Anna was frantically yelling for him. John could no longer see her. He sat up in the bed and raised his palms to his eyes. _

"_Bates!... Bates! "Lord Grantham frantically yelled for him. _

_Anna was gone; John was leaning up against the wall on a hard wood floor. "Bates! Come on man..."_

John opened his eyes, the room was dark but he could make out Robert on the other side of the room yelling for him. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, the warmth of the dream fading fast, reality setting in with a startling chill.

"Milord? What is it?"

"Bates, something is happening, I hear Vera yelling orders to the boys."

They had hoped for confirmation from the boy they enlisted for help, but he had yet to return. They continued to hear yelling on the other side of their door. Soon after, Vera was in the room towing four gun holding boys and barking orders, "Plans have changed. We're moving you at once."

Before Robert or John could say a word the boys handcuffed them and covered their heads with black hoods. They roughly prompted them to stand and lead them from the room, out of the building while others kept watch, and into a car. They were forced into the back, and under the dark cover of night, no one would notice them as they sped away.


	11. Chapter 11: All Hope is Not Lost

It was nearly 11pm when Erich returned to the hotel, he and his colleagues headed straight for the pub. After two shots of whiskey, Erich proceeded to Anna's room to deliver the bad news. She was awake, pacing the floor and talking nervously with Tom who had remained by her side for both her comfort and his own. He had never killed anyone and the events of the day were eating away at his conscience.

After Erich's knock on the door, Anna ran quickly to open it. Realizing he was there alone and without John, her stomach dropped as soon as she saw the despair in his face. She backed up slowly, allowing him to enter the room.

Erich explained how they arrived at the building to find it empty, revealing in detail the evidence hidden behind an armoire, a door, morsels of uneaten food on plates laying on the floor, both John's and Robert's coats abandoned. They had left quickly. With no signs or indications of where they were going.

Weeks passed with no additional letters, no sign of John or Lord Grantham, and no contact from Vera.

Anna requested time away from Downton. With complete support, Lady Mary granted her all the time she needed. The house was operating on a day-to-day basis with the heaviness of unanswered questions, the gloom of unending despair, the perpetual discouragement of silence. Tom returned to Downton under the instruction of Mr. Murray to manage the finances of the estate. Even though Erich continued to search, there were never any real leads. When the family finally informed the authorities and requested additional help, they were chastised for their delayed timing and Erich was quickly dismissed from Scotland Yard.

Anna remained in London. John had never sold his mother's home and Anna stayed there while trying to find a way to live without John. Erich visited her every day to ensure she was eating and taking care of herself, then he would report back to Mary about Anna and the investigation - both of which he had very little to say.

And then out of nowhere, it happened - a phone call to Downton.

Carson ran through the house yelling for Lady Grantham and Lady Mary - all propriety gone to hell in the moment. The London based embassy of the United States was on the phone for Lady Grantham, with news of Robert and John.

Carson, out of breath, picked up the phone line in the main hall, " Hello? I'm sorry to keep you waiting, here is Lady Grantham." Cora took the earpiece from Carson before he was finished announcing her. He continued to hold the mouthpiece for her, her hands shaking, her body weak from mourning.

"What can you tell me about my husband?"

"Your ladyship, we have received word from the City of New York that Lord Grantham arrived at the British embassy with a Mr. John Bates. Their story is quite horrific, but they wanted to inform and assure you they are alive and well and returning to London by passenger ship. They should arrive in five days."

Cora's face was beaming, instantly the life returning to her eyes, the color to her cheeks. "He's alive!" She exclaimed with great relief to Mary and Carson, who embraced at the news.

After more details were given, Cora hung up the phone and embraced Mary who was asking, "What about Bates?"

Still smiling from ear to ear, Cora continued with the wonderful news, "Yes, Mr. Bates is with your father. They are sailing home and will arrive in London in 5 days. We must get word to Anna at once."

News spread around the house like wild fire. The confirmation of Lord Grantham's and Mr. Bates' imminent return lifted everyone's spirits while cries of relief and yells for celebration filled the air. The staff took to working with a quickened pace as they prepared the home for the return of Lord Grantham. The family made phone calls to share the news. Everything had already been arranged. Robert and John were scheduled to arrive back in London early morning, proceed to Scotland Yard to give formal statements about their abduction, and meet the family that evening at Lady Mary's favorite luxury hotel. She was never more ready to be joyful. Now that the abduction had reached New York City, the newspapers would be reporting in earnest. There would be both a celebration and an opportunity for reporters to get the story first hand from Lord Grantham.

Back in London, the day was dreary; Anna had barely made her way out of bed that particular morning and down to make tea when she heard the usual knock on the door. Erich stuck his head in to announce his arrival. She stopped answering the door several weeks prior, and while recognizing that Anna was slipping into a deep depression, Erich took it upon himself to look after her, even taking a key to the house so he could come and go as Anna needed.

Today, she noticed Erich's voice was different. Still, she had lost hope of any good news, so she continued about making her tea. When he entered the kitchen, she politely asked if he wanted any.

"No thank you. Anna, how are you today?"

"I don't really want to make small talk Erich. You can see that I've gotten myself out of bed. I'm making breakfast. I'm resolving to accept my anguish."

"Anna...please stop what you are doing and look at me."

Reluctantly putting the kettle down, she turned to look at Erich - his face soft, a glimmer of quiet admiration in his eyes, a small comforting smile growing on his lips.

"What is it?" Having spent every day with him for the past seventeen weeks, she was able to read his face and know he had worthwhile news to share.

"It is a very long story Anna, but all you'll really want to know is that John is alive and coming home."

She stood there, stone faced, and then shook her head asking, "What did you say?"

"They' re alive Anna; John and his lordship are alive and returning to London in five days."

Anna let out a small whimper, fell back against the sink and slid down to the floor. Erich ran to catch her and met her on the floor of the kitchen in an embrace.

"John's alive?"

"Yes my dear, he is. They've had quite a time of it, but they are both well and anxious to return home."

"Where have they been all this time? My god...what about that evil witch Vera?" Anna was yelling and trying to digest the news.

"She's dead."

"How can we be sure?"

Erich laughed softly, continuing to hold Anna in his arms. "She was killed, quite brutally from what I understand. Its over."

She pulled back from Erich, the two of them sitting on the kitchen floor together. "Why don't I feel relieved?"

Erich looked at her with confusion, "you've been through hell this year ...give yourself time to adjust to the news."

"Why 5 days? Where are they?"

"New York City. Vera smuggled them onto a transatlantic freight liner. Apparently she had more money than we realized. Her only objective was to destroy Lord Grantham, John and...you. I'm so very grateful she did not succeed." Erich leaned in and gave Anna a small kiss on her forehead.

"I need to know...did John kill her?"

"No Anna. One of the older boys she hired turned against her in the end. There was a struggle and he forced her off a rooftop. I'm told she fell fifty stories to her death."

Anna was still in shock, stone faced, "I'm not sorry to say, that's the kind of death you expect someone like her to have. I've hoped for it honestly." Blinking a few times, she looked Erich in the eyes. "I don't care if that makes me sound horrid."

"Not at all Anna. Not in the least." Erich smiled, and then pulled himself up from the floor. Bending over, he helped Anna back to her feet. She was small and fragile and exhausted. He pushed a few loose strands of hair from her forehead and smiled. "We need to buy you a new dress, feed you, and whisk you off to a fancy hotel."

Anna was still struggling to believe him, "what on earth do you mean?"

"I mean, there is celebrating to do, and Lady Mary and Lady Grantham will be traveling to London in a few days to join you. In the mean time, I'm to deliver you to a fine hotel, where you will be pampered and cared for properly by your very own staff."

Anna finally presented a small smile and released an exasperated breath. "You've done quite well taking proper care of me Mr. Adler. In fact, I don't quite know what would have happened to me if you hadn't. How can I ever thank you?"

With the kindest eyes, Erich smiled saying, "Anna, your happiness is thanks enough."


	12. Chapter 12: Who Could Blame Him

Five days past by slowly, but finally the day was upon them and Anna was beaming with excitement. Erich had never seen her so happy, he relished in the new joyful spirit and magnificent smile Anna now wore every day. As had become his routine for the past 4 and half months, Erich checked in on Anna, even while she was staying at the hotel. Today was the day. John would be returning, Erich wanted to enjoy a late breakfast with Anna, then send her off to meet the ladies at the train station. His care of her was almost complete.

There was a festival in London that coming weekend and crowds of people were filling the hotel and taking over the streets. The atmosphere was spilling over with celebration and festivities. There was nothing but merriment in the air as John entered the luxury hotel where Anna was staying. Removing his hat, he looked around at all the adornment. He could never afford to take her to a place like this and he was grateful she had the opportunity to stay here for a few days of rest. The grand lobby was joined by a large atrium, as robust as a ballroom. His eyes anxiously searched the room for Anna, the front desk having informed him she was having breakfast there. He and Robert arrived a few hours earlier than expected, gave their reports to the authorities and while Robert headed off to visit his solicitor Mr. Murray, John couldn't wait another moment to see Anna. He had received word she had remained in London and rushed to the hotel.

At last - he spotted her across the room standing next to the bar. Her hair softly up in a loose bun and wearing a new blue dress. He loved her in blue. Her face was turned away from him and she was laughing. Oh how he missed the sight of her, and the sound of her infectious laugh. John stood there a moment, taking her in and releasing a calming breath. His Anna.

John's blissful moment was intruded upon when a large hand reached for Anna's shoulder, welcoming her into a warm embrace. She disappeared from his sight for a moment as a crowd of passing people blocked his view of her - in the arms of another man. As the room swayed with people, John moved slowly along the wall trying to make his way over to Anna. Who's prideful chest was she resting her head against? He didn't recognize the tall, dark haired, tan and youthful face. John watched another man release Anna and tenderly stroke his hand along her arm, reassuring her of something. Could this be the other man who escorted Anna here months ago with Tom? As he had been spitefully informed, he was something to feast the eyes upon.

John continued slowly walking toward them, discovering more about them with each step. It was an honest and pure instance, neither of them knew he was there after all; in fact both Anna and Erich were behaving as though they didn't care if anyone else was in the room with them. Both focused so intently on the gaze of the other.

John realized the longer he observed, that Erich was very keen on Anna. How could he not be? She was only growing in beauty and her loveliness had increased since he last saw her. John was detoured by the growing crowd of people and luggage around him, struggling to make it across the room; he was pushed back behind a pillar by a wave of tourists. Continuing to discern their intimate exchange, he continued to appraise the glimmer in Erich's eyes; he understood how a man could fall hopelessly in love with Anna. But he swallowed hard as he also recognized the glow in Anna's face. She was keen on Erich too. She wasn't advancing toward him in the way he was her, but she wasn't resisting him either. They were comfortable together, too comfortable for John's stomach to handle.

Forced to retreat further behind the pillar and into a darkened corridor, John realized Erich and Anna were making their way from the bar and toward the main doors. While Erich guided Anna precariously across the room, his hand lightly on the small of her back, Anna never moved more gracefully. She seemed bashful - shy even. John remembered that look on her face during the first several weeks after they met. His eyes followed her out the door and his heart sank, as he remained a mere shadow, not able to intrude on what he did not yet even understand. He knew he never deserved Anna. He also knew this man was exceptionally good-looking - a man like that would possess many other charms, they always did. He trusted Anna, but knew too well the gateway to the heart could never truly be sealed by anyone.

John finally made it over to the bar and stood where Anna had been a mere moment ago. He stared at their two glasses on the bar, one a half empty glass of cider, the other an empty cordial glass. It was quite early in the day for spirits. They had been celebrating. A small paper drink napkin lay beside Anna's cider glass, rolled up and twisted into a playful shape. She had a way of playing with her paper napkin when she was nervous. He made her nervous. Anna had playful nervous energy toward another man. John tilted his head staring at the place setting, wondering about their conversation. The bar keeper asked him if he would like a drink. He would. He would very much like a drink. Or several. John locked eyes with him and shook his head. As he turned to walk away he saw Erich out of the corner of his eye. Anna, no longer with him, he quickly headed out the hotel door in search of his wife. As he reached the doorway, he saw her being placed in a car by the doorman; the car drove away with Anna smiling. She was happy.

John started walking away, his head down, his heart dejected, his mind confused. He headed quickly away from the hotel. Tom spotted him from across the crowded street and yelled joyfully, "Mr. Bates!" The city noise was louder than Tom's shouting. "Mr. Bates!" John continued walking away and turned down an alley. Tom tried to hustle across the street, through crowds of people, so many there for the festival. With more motorcars than the narrow street could handle, Tom finally reached the last spot where he had seen John before he turned the corner. But when he reached the spot, John was nowhere in sight.

"Tom?" He heard Erich call his name from behind him, and turning he met Erich. "It's so good to see you again." They shook hands.

"I just saw Mr. Bates." Tom pointed toward the hotel.

"Here?" Erich was just as surprised as Tom. "Yes. I'm certain it was him, but I lost him in the crowd. Where's Anna?"

"I just put her in a car and sent her off to meet Mary at the train."

"Oh. Well, she'll be back soon then, I wonder if Lord Grantham is here as well already."

Erich motioned to Tom to enter the hotel, "Let's have a look." Erich looked anxiously over his shoulder for Mr. Bates, unsure if he was ready to give Anna back.


	13. Chapter 13: Bringing to Light

Later that afternoon, Anna returned to the hotel with Lady Mary and Lady Grantham. She settled the ladies in their rooms and while they rested for a few hours, made her way back to her own room to find Erich waiting for her in the lobby.

Smiling, she greeted him, "hello."

"So then, the ladies have arrived?"

"Yes, they're both resting before we dress for tonight."

"Good. Mr. Branson has arrived as well. He's down at the pub."

"Shouldn't you join him?"

"Actually Anna, I was hoping I could have a word with you."

"Of course, is everything alright?"

"It is ...Anna, you'll see Mr. Bates soon then?"

"Yes! I can hardly believe it."

"I'm so very glad for you."

"Thank you Mr. Adler, for everything you did. I can't imagine how badly this could have gone had we not involved you to assist us through this entire process. I'm ever so sorry you lost your job."

"I'm very glad you did involve me, I only wish things would have resolved sooner, for your sake...and Anna, please, call me Erich."

Anna paused, her voice cracking with emotion, "I'm so ever grateful for you."

He gave her a smile but there was sadness behind his eyes. "Anna...I would like to share something with you, that is, if you don't mind my honesty."

She tilted her head at him, with playful encouragement. "Erich, I think it is safe to say that we are friends now. And I don't mind your honesty at all. In fact, I truly think you are very misunderstood."

He smiled in relief and tilted his head in gratitude for her compliment. "Thank you for saying that."

"Now what is it you wanted to say?" She asked with such brightness in her voice.

Erich hesitated for a moment then began after a deep breath, "You see, years ago, I stopped believing in love. I thought it all a fleeting and whimsical idea that fools hopelessly chased after. You however, have restored my faith. I envy your love for John - but because I have witnessed it, I now believe in the happiness that kind of love can bring."

Anna blushed. "That's quite flattering. I think given the right opportunity, its safe to say you will find such love and happiness in your own life."

Giving her only a small smile from one side of his lips he shared more truth, " The problem is I have found it. Only, I can never truly have it. How does one live with that?'

"How do you know you can never have it Erich? Have you told this person how you feel?"

He smiled softly again, looking dejected. She really had no idea. How could she? She never saw past John's love for her, and her love for John. "No Anna. I've not told her. She is in love already." He continued to look at her with big brown adoring eyes.

She stood more upright and straight, "oh."

Erich let out a long breath and reached for her hand, "Anna..."

She pulled away from him and politely said, "I think I'd better go now, its time for me to get ready."

Erich politely folded his hands together behind his back and leaning into Anna's ear, whispered," You know who I love don't you?"... "Its you Anna. I love _you."_

Anna looked up into his beautiful face, her own grew red, and she looked away as quickly as she walked, "No You must not say those things to me. I appreciate everything you have done, but I really must go now and prepare for John's arrival."

Erich followed her with his eyes as she ran up the stairs and safely back to her room.

* * *

Anna waited anxiously in the lobby with Tom, Lady Mary, and Lady Grantham, a crowd of people had gathered at the hotel to welcome Robert & John back. The rumors had spread. The papers had been writing about the story for several days now. John and Robert were on their way, any moment they would arrive by car. Anna had done her best to avoid Erich for the rest of the afternoon, and he allowed her the space to do that. Sharing his heartfelt truth with her was all he really desired. Or so he thought.

Erich watched as Anna made her way quietly to the powder room in the lobby. He didn't even consider if anyone was watching as he simply followed her into the room, closing the door behind them.

Anna turned suddenly, realizing he was in there with her. "Erich? You shouldn't be in here."

"I needed to see you. To talk with you privately one last time."

"I don't think we should."

"Perhaps not, but I must. Anna, as the day progressed, I could only consider how this joyful event is marred by the fact I will never see you again. I simply cannot allow this final moment to pass without a proper farewell. When they arrive, and you are reunited with John...I know I will have lost you forever."

Anna felt consumed by his words, she hadn't thought about never seeing Erich again. The fact was, as the reality of what he said sank in, her heart slowly grieved. She had been through so much the past several months, without a word from John. Anna had started to rely on Erich, anticipate his kindness and expect his care as he had a way of looking out for her and encouraging her daily through these, the very worst of times.

"Well, we've had quite a time of it, haven't we?" She considered her words carefully, ignoring her racing heart and clammy hands. "You know, perhaps you are captivated by the tension of our experience or the fact you enjoy a hearty challenge..."

"Don't diminish my feelings for you." He interrupted. "I know what it is, and accept it for the bitterness it will be when you leave with John Bates. I ask only that you receive my honesty as a compliment, and allow me the honor of a simple parting kiss." He slowly backed her into the wall. There was nowhere for her to run. And then she realized she wasn't trying to.

As Erich leaned in toward her, Anna felt her eyes close. In that moment of feeling the loss of his friendship, and the entrapment of confusion, she allowed him to softly kiss her lips.

Realizing she hadn't resisted him, Erich eagerly gathered her face in both his hands and together they embodied the consequence of wanting and needing and resolving. The kiss, brimming with passion and longing, flowed thoroughly with his confession and ache of love.

The door opened suddenly. They were discovered.

Anna's face red, her lips wet and swollen, her eyes filled with tears. Erich continued gazing at Anna with his love and adoration and never looked at Mary, standing in the doorway, slightly shocked. The sounds of loud cheers echoed in the background. Robert and John had finally arrived.

Erich pressed one last kiss upon Anna's forehead and spoke his final words into her hair. "Goodbye, my sweet and lovely Anna." And with that, he walked out of the room and was gone.

Mary only stared at Anna, who was clearly shaken by what had just transpired. She hurried into the room, closing and locking the door behind her. "My god Anna, are you alright?"

Anna covered her mouth and began to cry. "I can't believe that just happened."

Mary, anxiously concerned, gathered a towel for Anna. "Well it did Anna. But, Bates and father have arrived. You need to pull yourself together now."

"Oh god," Anna looked in the mirror and gasped. "I'm a frightful mess."

Mary smiled, "Its alright. No one will think anything of it. You'll only get more emotional when you finally see John...won't you?"

Anna's head snapped around to look at Mary. "You don't think...of course I'm so ever grateful John is finally here."

"Of course you are." I'm so sorry Anna, I should have warned you. I warned Erich to be careful, but I should have warned you about him."

"What do you mean?"

"Anna, it was clear to everyone that Erich was in love with you."

"To everyone? Not to me..." Anna dabbed her face and eyes with the towel. Then she rinsed her mouth and spat several times into the sink. She was thankful for the mints she carried in her purse, needing to rid her senses and taste of another man.

"Well it doesn't matter now, I'm sure he's gone. We'll not speak another word of this. Now go. I'm sure Bates is wondering where you are."

As Anna and Lady Mary returned to the lobby, they saw John and Robert surrounded by swarms of people. Lady Grantham was already at Robert's side and John stood there chatting with well-wishers and a few reporters before he calmly looked past them and met Anna's eyes. All thoughts of Erich diminished from her mind and Anna filled with every emotion possible as she quickly ran to embrace her husband. The crowd had followed John's eyes and parted knowing he was being welcomed back by his devoted wife. The crowd cheered as they embraced. Anna seemed awkward. John instantly felt it. He pulled away from her and gave her a joyful smile all the while searching her eyes. Her smile was sincere and intense but there was an aversion in her gaze. His heart beat with a slight twinge of fear. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders protectively, John held on to Anna for dear life.

The festivities continued but after nearly an hour past, John was ready to leave, he needed to be alone with Anna. They saw Robert and Cora still cheerily entertaining many people, but they were after all, accustomed to it. John leaned in to Anna's ear and reaching for her hand, subtly pulled her closer to him. "Are you ready?"

Anna felt herself shiver beneath John's voice. She turned her head toward him and smiled. "And what are _you_ ready for Mr. Bates?"

John smiled playfully, "I can't take another breath until I have you all to myself," his eyes revealed a deeper story. He needed her. There were too many intimate thoughts, demanding be spoken.

Anna and John quietly escaped the hall and retreated to the privacy and comfort of their hotel room. Anna was delighted to be sharing the grand amenities of the room Mary had gifted them for John's return. A blend of excitement and nervousness entwined them as they climbed the stairs together. Anna, suddenly caught up with guilt and worry, didn't know how to tell John about what had happened. She knew she had to, there were never any secrets between them. Still. she didn't want to ruin his first night back, so she felt like carrying the guilt with her awhile was her punishment. "Its still very early you know. Won't people wonder where we've disappeared to?"

"I don't care. I only want to be alone with my wife." He squeezed her hand tightly in his and laced her arm through his own.

Anna beamed brightly at John, and then opened the door to their room. She looked around, still impressed by all the comfort they were free to enjoy. But John didn't care. He was only concerned with Anna. Where would he begin? He had so many questions. So much had happened in the time they were apart. The last time he held her, they had shared a loving and healing night together, having traversed through so much heartbreak.

It all seemed like another lifetime.

This was not the homecoming either of them had imagined while they were apart. John felt afraid. Anna felt guilt. There was an unspoken sadness lurking between them - neither knew why the other seemed so.

John closed the door and stepped quickly toward Anna, gathering her in his warm embrace from behind. He pulled her into him and as he closed his eyes, inhaled the wonderful scent of her hair. Anna allowed herself to release the tension of months into his arms. She had forgotten! She had forgotten for a short while, just how wonderful, loved and safe he always made her feel. Their emotions were billowing as Anna began to weep softly.

John turned her around to face him and she collapsed against his chest. Their tender embrace strengthening as he held her more tightly than he had ever dared. He kissed her head softly, massaged her back slowly, unsure who the tears were meant for.

John couldn't take it anymore. He had to reveal what was weighing so heavily on his heart.

"Anna...are you happy to see me?"

"What do you mean?" She tried to sound convincing.

"You seem...distant."

_Oh god. She was happy to see him. Wasn't she?_

"What?" She asked, pulling away to look up at him. "Of course I am." _My god, why didn't she sound like it?_ She struggled for her own answers. She hid her face in his chest - but it felt like there was a wall separating them. They both felt it.

It was time. There would be no getting around it. John had to know the truth, so he confessed.

"I saw you you know."

"What do you mean?"

"I came to find you. And I did. But you were preoccupied with someone, so very much that it scared me."

"John? When?"

"This morning. I came early to surprise you. I needed so desperately to see you. You were at the lobby bar with...who is he? He's quite handsome."

Anna's face turned pale, she pulled away from him. He let her.

John continued, "I love you more than life Anna...I just need to know the truth."

Anna's thoughts betrayed her. Her mind flooded with the infidelity of that lustful kiss. She couldn't speak. She held her breath.

"The truth Anna. Please."

After hesitating, Anna started, "Mr. Adler was the investigator the Grantham's hired to find you and his lordship."

John gave her a small smile, "but he didn't find us did he?"

"He never stopped trying," Anna chocked back emotions, realizing she was defending Erich.

John persisted, "what _did _he find instead Anna?" He spoke softly and kindly and lovingly to her. She didn't deserve it.

Anna shook her head slowly. The guilt was so deep, her heart began to race. She was silent.

"You looked at him as you once looked at me. That's what I found." He sounded heartbroken, not angry.

Anna closed her eyes, tears flowed freely. He knew more truth than perhaps she herself knew.

"Do you..._love _him?"

Her tearful eyes sprang open. _How long had he watched them? Why did he think she loved him? _

"No. No...I love only you." She sounded desperate.

"He loves _you_. I know that." John had pondered this thought all day.

"Yes. He told me." Her voice was low. She looked guilty. She felt shameful.

John took in a deep breath and looked up and away from her, deep in thought. _How dare he infringe upon his wife like this? How dare he speak words of love to his Anna. Was she happy he loved her? Did it excite her?_

"Where is he now?" For the first time since he'd returned, John's voice sounded angry. He was angry.

"I don't know. He said goodbye this evening, then left. I don't expect to ever see him again."

"I don't expect he can stay away..." _I could never stay away from you._

Anna stood in silence. John didn't even know about the kiss and he was already very upset. How could she tell him?

"What else should I know?"

Ann, no longer able to compose herself, covered her mouth and ran into the bathroom. She couldn't believe she had just left John like that, but suddenly she was overwhelmed with too many emotions, more than she herself even understood. Anna closed the door and hid behind it. That kiss was still there. It had only been a few hours ago. And still, she had not kissed her husband in a way that surpassed the kiss she allowed Erich. Should she tell John? It would only hurt him more and deepen his anger.

John walked slowly over to the door. He had never seen Anna like this. Something more _had_ happened. His fear grew, but he needed to know.

John spoke into the door.

"Anna...open the door please." He could hear her sobbing.

"I can't."

"You must. I need you to."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not angry."

"You will be."

_Oh god. What wasn't she telling him_?

"Open the door Anna."

There was silence. She was paralyzed. Transfixed by her own emotions. Overwhelmed with confusion. Why wasn't she ready to let John back into her life? Why the door between them? Separating them. Keeping him out and away from her still. Did she possibly love Erich? No. How could she? She only loved John.

"Anna please..." John grew desperate with fear. "I'll not have you locking doors on me."

Anna could not pull herself together. She was heaving with emotion. Everything crashing down on her all at once. The kidnapping, Erich, John's return - it was all too much.

John's angst was increasing. He wanted to bust open the door but he composed himself when he heard running water and after a moment, the door unlocked. He waited, but when she didn't come out, he turned the handle and entered. He found her leaning against the sink, her head down.

John walked over to her and faced her side. Anna continued looking down into the sink when she finally confessed, "we kissed."

Sickness gripped through his stomach as John took a slow breath, processing her words. She felt the room flood with his severe defeat.

"Often?"

"Just once."

There was a long, arduous silence.

Anna was afraid to look at John. She felt him agonizing and could not bare to see it with her own eyes. And when she turned to him finally, he looked away, his face abundantly marred by emotion. "I'm so sorry. I didn't want it. It was good-bye and I got caught up. I didn't want it to happen."

John realized what she had said, and looked her in the eye, "so it was tonight?"

She simply nodded her head yes.

He closed his eyes and spoke. "Right as I came in, I saw him leaving. Then you were late meeting me, because you were with _him_?" There were unshed tears building in his eyes.

"Yes," Anna cried softly - her response biting at his heart. "There are no words to suitably qualify the regret of this evening. All I longed for, day and night, was your safe return."

John stood there silent, holding back the flood of emotions ... "Is there anything else?"

"I love you, John...I have only ever loved you."

John stared at her, still waiting for the answer he needed.

"No. There is nothing else," she finally answered.

John walked out of the bathroom and left Anna standing there alone. She heard him leave the room. The door closed quietly. She burst into tears.


	14. Chapter 14:l Finale

Several hours past, the sun had set on an emotional day and darkness blanketed the room. Anna had spent the time contemplating all that had happened, waiting anxiously for John to return. She decided to follow after him, hoping to discover him sitting outside in the hotel garden. When she reached the entry, she found him sitting alone near a slow bubbling fountain.

"I hoped I'd find you here." Anna stood near him but still several feet of space separated them. She appeared small, with her hands folded gracefully in front of her. John thought she never looked more beautiful.

"Its very peaceful here." John was sitting on a bench, his arms folded in front of him. His eyes were glossy and red.

Anna hesitated, "do you mind if I join you?"

John tilted his head to look at her and shook it slightly, "No…I don't mind."

"What is it about the night air that you love so much John?"

"I think it's the freedom it provides, the coolness, the fresh perspective on things. You like it too don't you?"

"I've always liked the privacy it affords us." She was still standing.

"Do you? Even now when we have our own room to go to or our cottage back home?"

"Yes, but it reminds me of when we didn't have those things and we had to steal a moment here or there in the cover of night. It makes me melancholy I suppose."

"I thought a lot about those moments while we were apart. I so longed for them."

"We will have many more moments like that now John."

"Will we? I'm not so sure."

"Please don't say that." Anna walked closer toward John.

He paused, staring at her, then stood up to talk with her. "Anna, I've lived long enough to understand, these things happen. Not because we want them to or because we're looking for them. Sometimes the right circumstance allows for...feelings to develop in the midst of intense moments. I'm not saying any of this is your fault. But I am grappling with the fact that another man told my wife that he' s in love with her...and that you shared an intimate kiss with him.

Anna looked away as the despair in John's face overwhelmed her.

"I only have one more thing to ask you..."

Anna cautiously met his eyes again with her own.

"Tell me. Have I lost you?"

Anna's lip trembled and her brow furrowed, tears rolled freely as she shook her head. "Oh John, is that what you think?"

"Have I?"

"No. Never."

John swallowed hard, still searching her eyes. Anna reached for John's hand. He gave it to her. Together they stood alone in the garden.

Taking a deep breath John spoke. "We've been through so much Anna. But if I ever lost you, I don't think I would survive it."

"I know, because I feel the exact same way John...and I need...to ask your forgiveness."

John paused for a moment, concentrating on Anna's eyes, considering all she meant to him. "There is nothing to forgive you for. I believe all that you've said to me, that you didn't want this. I suppose I should be thankful that he tried to find us...but I'm not. I'm angry that he involved himself so intimately with you."

Anna just stared at John, not knowing what else she could do; she finally asked what had been worrying her most, "do you feel differently about me now?"

John shook his head, his eyes grew emotional, "every second of every day, I thought only of you. I thought only about having you back in my arms. Even after I saw you with him, I only wanted to run to you and steal that moment back. I'm furious that we lost time again. Those should have been our moments together."

"I can't even imagine what you've been through. I haven't even asked if you were physically hurt. Were you?" She tugged at his jacket. He continued to look in her eyes.

"Nothing hurt more, than being without you." Tears flowed freely down his cheeks now.

"John...please, come back with me to our room." Anna pleaded, pulling at his jacket again.

"Are you sure that's what you really want?"

Anna spoke to him with concentrated assurance, "How do I convince you...you are my only love, my only desire? I need you...John, if I had wanted him, I would not be here. You know me. I am strong-willed. When I want something, I make it happen don't I? _You_ are all I want. I promise."

John thought back to one of his dreams while in captivity and asked her. "Will you make me another promise Anna?"

"Anything." She rested her hands on his chest, looking deeply into his eyes. He reached for her elbows and held her there.

"Promise me you'll never see him again. Not ever."

She hesitated for a moment accepting the fear she saw behind John's gaze and answered, "Of course I promise." _I never WANT to see him again. Not ever. How dare he cause you this much pain my love!_

"Anna, I made you a promise in a reoccurring dream I had while we were apart."

"And what did you promise me John?"

"That I would make love to you everyday for the rest of our lives."

She looked at him with desperation, "then please, start living up to that promise this very night."

John raised his hand to gently lift Anna's chin toward him, and leaning down, they finally kissed. A kiss that broke through shame and suffering, a kiss that forgave and reunited, that awakened lost hopes and dreams. A kiss that left them both breathless for a moment, and shedding tears when they reopened their eyes.

They returned to their room, John not wanting to release Anna's hand from his own. As soon as the door was closed and locked, John's look intensified.

"Come here." John gathered Anna up in a strong embrace. They captured their lips together again. He could hardly believe the boldness in Anna's kiss as her tongue pierced between his lips first, searching out his tongue then sucking softly at his lower lip. She left him wanting more. He pulled back to catch his breath. Pressing his head against Anna's, they held one another in a strong embrace as John spoke barely above a whisper, "my god, all we have been through this year Anna, I've never needed your love more than I do at this moment." John seemed melancholy.

"I will give you everything you need, and anything you ask for." Anna reached into his jacket grabbing hold of his tie she pulled him along with her toward the bed. "Sit down Mr. Bates," she ordered, and started removing his waistcoat. Their mood was serious and he submitted. Watching her every move, he turned and sat on the edge of the bed facing her. This was real. He had to believe it - this was better than any dream he could imagine. The way her hair flowed along her face, the way her delicate hands moved around him, he watched as she laid his coat across the arm of a nearby chair. He breathed in slow and deeply her scent, the smell of her bath oil, her hand cream. Together they engulfed his mind and while he continued to watch her, he unbuttoned his sleeves and memorized the outline of her body. She turned around and removed his tie while he unbuttoned his shirt and absorbed every soft detail of her gentle face. She seemed older now and her eyes tired, he knew he was to blame. He hated what his time away did to her. She deserved joy and a peaceful life filled with love. He was determined now more than ever to give her all the love he could give her. As Anna continued to undress John, he grabbed hold of her, pulling her body into him**. **Hiding his face from her, he burrowed into her dress and gave way to the months and this horrible day of emotion.

For the next several moments, John wept. Anna held him firmly against her, without a spoken word. She comforted her husband, quietly allowing the fear and longing he never allowed himself to release. Anna was grateful he trusted her enough to let his guard down again. She had feared the past year of challenges would make him hard and indifferent. Anna was relieved that John could cry.

He calmed himself, and held his wife carefully in his arms, "I'm sorry."

"No, there is no need for sorry. I love you... that's all there is to say about it." Anna had tears streaming her face now. She kissed John as he held her tightly. They both felt calmer, more secure. She resumed undressing him then turned around asking him to help remove her dress. Slowly, he slid the dress off her shoulders and pulled her down to kiss the top of her bare arms. She shuddered slightly. Stepping out of her dress, she turned around and met his eyes. There was just enough soft glimmering moonlight in the room to see the desire in his face.

Soon he began to massage Anna's body. First her arms, then her shoulders and as she leaned forward on the bed, he slowly massaged her upper back and neck with his strong but loving hands. The moment was euphoric for them both. Anna could hardly contain herself as she gave in to the overwhelming indulgence of her husband's hands rubbing months of tension from her body. John, still in awe of the fact he was free to be loving and intimate with his wife, wanted nothing more than to indulge her. Appreciative of the sensuality the moment allowed, he relished every touch of her skin.

They escaped their horrible past once again. Now finding each other in their newfound rhythm. And as their lovemaking met its end, it was Anna's turn to weep, and John held her most tightly against him. Then lifting her face toward his, he lingered on her cheeks with soft tiny kisses until she stopped crying.

"I love you, so very much John," she whispered while looking into his dark loving eyes. He kissed her wanting lips while softly whispering back to her, "as I love you."


End file.
